Serendipity
by FacetiousFish
Summary: – Sequel to the one shot “Addiction” It was a moment of pure lust, more like an epiphany but everything has its consequences and now Sam Carter is left to ride the twilight zone between what they did and everything that could happen next
1. Not a Trace

**Serendipity **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG1; if I did then I would definitely put forward a word to get the cast to read some of these fanfictions! It's a shame they never have time…**

**Summary – Sequel to the one shot "Addiction" - It was a moment of pure lust, more like an epiphany but everything has its consequences and now Sam Carter is left to ride the twilight zone between what they did and everything that could happen next. Sam/Jack**

**Authors Notes**

**-By the nice reaction I got for addiction I have decided to do a sequel although I am not promising much humor here, Angst is usually my forte so there might be more of that, along with Romance of course! I love the Sam/Jack pairing!**

**-I have a plan laid out for this but you know how things never go to plan! Lol! Hopefully you will enjoy all the twists and turns coming up. And I promise you a happy ending! **

**-as I said on my author's notes for addiction "doesn't it irritate you when you have like 2000 hits but only 2 reviews?" please review! I will love you forever if you do!**

**- Some parts of this fic may be innacturate **

**-Not much else to say apart from read on and I hope you enjoy it!**

Chapter 1: Not a Trace

Sam gently eased into a conscious state but did not open her eyes, all she knew for a few blissful moments was comfort and contentment, even in a strange mid-state she also knew that opening her eyes would snatch this away before she could gasp. Rolling over she felt her hot skin occupy a cold space of the bed, this made her eyes snap open suddenly and the gasp escape her lips as realization hit her

'Jack?' she called out into the small room, there was no response, "of course there wouldn't be," she thought "he wasn't there, did she expect him to jump out from behind the dresser or something?" Unfortunately this light mannered statement posed more questions - where was he? Why did he go? Did last night happen at all or had her dreams suddenly turned X-rated? She looked down; she was covered by the standard military issue poor excuse for a blanket and could feel the scratchy material graze her skin. Usually she would use this room when she had been working into the early hours of the morning and couldn't be bothered to go home, on these nights she would often collapse fully clothed on top on the covers, sleep taking her as soon as she hit the pillows, she had never made a habit of sleeping under the covers and nudity in the middle of a military complex wasn't a favorite pastime either, she and Jack had definitely… trying not to think about how over her career would be if she was ever found out to have slept with her superior officer she swung her feet around to touch the floor and used the bedding that was currently in use to cover her on a dash across the room to grab clean clothes and snatch remains from last night off of the floor.

Well rested and fully clothed she ambled down to the commissary for breakfast; maybe she would see Colonel O'Neill there. Grabbing a bowl of oatmeal she cast around the room searching for any sign of O'Neill: nothing, all she saw was a room of SG staff chatting casually and Daniel sitting in the corner of the room reading through a file and munching on toast between sentences

'Mind if I sit here?' she asked approaching Daniel cautiously, for a moment he made no sign of acknowledgement but after placing the file down to butter another piece of toast he gestured to tell her the space was free

'Morning' he greeted, temporarily abandoning the file and looking up at Sam with a smile 'all nighter?'

Daniel's statement caught her just as she took a spoon of oatmeal, she jumped, dropped the spoon and by some miracle just managed to keep herself from spitting the oatmeal in Daniel's face

'Don't like oatmeal huh?' he said cocking one eyebrow at her reaction, with some difficulty she swallowed before laughing wryly

'Just biting of more than I can chew,' she smiled, thankful that Daniel couldn't read her mind, see past the sarcasm

'Well that is what SG1 tends to do…' he paused as if recalling fond memories before swinging back round to the previous topic 'I was up most of the night translating that text SG6 found on P4X-719

'Oh yeah?' she urged him to continue, as uninterested in the current topic as she was, she did not fancy the idea of fumbling around for an cover-up to what she had done last night, whatever her state of conscious-ness she knew "what was I doing last night? Oh I was just having a bit of adult fun with Colonel O'Neill" would not be a gracefully accepted statement

'Nothing interesting really, a lot of doodling on the most part I recon, but there is a small piece that mentions some stuff about the ancients…' Daniel continued talking about the translation until Sam's bowl left no trace of oatmeal

'Have you seen Jack this morning?' Sam asked suddenly, knowing she could make a quick escape as soon as he had replied

'No I haven't, I did hear Hammond saying something about him feeling unwell though so you might want to check the infirmary,'

'Thanks Daniel,' grabbing her bowl and spoon she left the table and was soon in the elevator on her way to the infirmary, hoping that Daniel wasn't going to ask her questions about their conversation later because for the first time in a million conversations she hadn't listened to a word of it…a bit like O'Neill.

'Has Colonel O'Neill been up here this morning?' Sam greeted Dr Frasier with a question

'Good Morning Sam, what can I help you with?' Janet ignored Sam's less than greeting and restarted the conversation in the hopes of a friendlier reply

'Has Colonel O'Neill been up here this morning?' Sam repeated, her turn to ignore the previous statement, Dr Frasier sighed

'No he hasn't I haven't seen him since yesterday afternoon,' Sam paused in thought, tapping her foot impatiently "damn he isn't here" deciding it was more productive to start work than trail around all day looking for Colonel O'Neill she thanked Janet for her input, resolved to call him later and left the infirmary, questions still circling in her mind.

**That was a _really_ short chapter I know but hopefully the next will be longer, that's the trouble with trying to write a decent story, there are all these foundations to build first, lol, on the bright side at least my house won't fall down when I get onto the exciting bit! ;o) **

**I am just itching to write more but my eyes itching with tiredness is probably the cause of that! Lol! Have to write more tomorrow. They have to do the "I guess we should talk about last night" bit soon! That always makes me laugh! Its such a cliché! But what the hell? foundations foundations!**

**Anyway, now my psychotic chipper-ness has stopped creeping you out… please read on! It gets better I promise! Oh and, like many writers, I prefer reviews before I stick another chapter up…please XD**

**Smiles**

**Sesa**

**xxx **


	2. Inevitable Call

**Authors Notes**

**-Despite me stopping writing to get some sleep I ended up watching the Stargate film, the people who play Daniel and Jack are different and the effects and sets are a bit primitive but overall it was quite enjoyable! I recommend watching it; Daniel is rather amusing in parts!**

**- Time for a bit of Jack I feel, lets see what he thinks… there might be a bit of sexual content in this chapter so watch out if you don't like fics with a little bit of that in them…**

**- I am actually in need of a beta for this fic, is anyone interested in working with me for a while to get the full potential out of this storyline? Obviously you get sneak previews and stuff and I am not particularly bossy or protective of my work when it comes to criticism. It would be preferable for you to have msn messenger but it is obviously not a demand, please mention in a review if you are interested (btw this isn't just a cheap way of getting more reviews! lol)**

Chapter 2: Inevitable Call

Jack had tried to ignore the harsh tones of his phone from inside the house, he had turned his cell off to get some peace and was about to throw the damned house phone into the lake if it didn't stop the incessant ringing! He was certain that he hadn't been handing out his home phone number to everyone but somehow they always managed to find him and immensely irritate him when he purely wanted to bask in the solitude fishing often gave to everyone that wasn't him, break away from the world and the next impending disaster. Perching his fishing rod against the back door he wandered into the house, grabbed a beer from the fridge and cast a glance over to the answer machine which flashed with three new messages, it was actually a rather pleasant surprise since the message count was usually nearer to the twenties, the first one boomed in General Hammonds surly voice;

'I'm sorry Jack but we are going to have to cut your leave, the azguard have requested a meeting with you about the growing threat of the replicators, I expect to see you in the briefing room tomorrow at 09:00 hours, call me if you fall into some life threatening situation and can't make the briefing,' Jack tittered at Hammond's attempt at humor, he had his moments but George Hammond was overall a serious military man, a second message interrupted his thoughts

'Jack, hi, it's Daniel, obviously you are fishing at the moment and won't be pleased about my call but I found some new information about the replicators and thought you might want to hear it before you speak to the azguard tomorrow, call me back if you are interested,' Jack rolled his eyes, he could have had a message from his parents or something so it sounded like he actually _had_ a life, the third voice although softer than the previous two, nearly made him spray beer around the kitchen, fortunately he only dropped the can – minimal mess, minimal clean up

'Hi Sir, it's Sam, I didn't see you in the commissary this morning after… well I was told that you went home, was it because…? Well…did I…? Well, umm anyway, if you want to umm, talk well I'm pretty much always here so…yeah, so I guess we'll talk later…sorry…Bye Sir,' Jack stood for a moment taken aback, it was definitely the most unusual message he had ever received from Carter but he also knew that every stutter was not misplaced, guilt crept into his mind for leaving her this morning, she thought she had done something wrong but there was nothing…she was amazing, he realized he was stumbling over his own thoughts, trying to avoid a recollection of what happened. The truth is it shouldn't have happened, he had restrained himself before, he knew the consequences of their actions could be catastrophic for their careers if they were ever found out, in a way it was cruel, they were so close now, he had touched her skin, felt her lips but rules and regulations once again tore them apart, they had been too close and now they both had to separate, both had to detach.

He wandered outside again, closing his eyes and feeling the gentle breeze caress his skin, the summer air a sweet scent, memories rushed forth like they were pouring from a tap, he had pinned her to the door as he kissed her, their bodies were against each other, like pieces of a puzzle, a perfect match, destined to be slotted together and added as another couple to the six billion piece puzzle that created the bigger picture, their lust drove them around the room, clothes were abandoned as they craved each other's flesh, Animal instinct brought them crashing back to basics, each kiss was a feast to their passion-starved bodies, tongues explored, eyes delved deeper until

'Are you sure…Sam,' he had asked her among the sweet nothings he whispered in her ear 'Are you sure?'

'yes,' she whispered, they both lived in that moment, common sense was mere theory between them, rules were gone, his vision narrowed to the beautiful emerald eyes that gazed back at him, no inhibitions, no future, just now, just her...sometimes it scared him how self-less she could make him, he realized with a jolt of his heart that he would die for her, he had fallen so hard for her that he could have hit rock bottom and still not even begun to fall. On the other hand he felt extreme stupidity, sure enough she had seduced him in the first place but that was mainly because of the stuff in that atmosphere, he recalled their fingers had touched and since then everything had been a mix of lust and muddled emotions, he remembered what he had said to her – "you can be addicted to me any day coz God knows I am already addicted to you," a cheesy line to be sure but that line had started it all, from then on reality had flown out the window and he had a feeling things were far from over. Striding determinedly back into the house he picked up the phone and dialled her number

'Samantha Carter,' she answered the phone, completely unaware of who was on the other end of the line 'Hello?' she asked when she got no response. Jack opened his mouth to answer but instead of speaking slammed the receiver back on the hook, a moment later he couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed, wasn't he supposed to be at least _acting_ like he was in control of the situation? Instead Sam had company in falling apart, stutters and mumbles, not quite knowing what to say. How could it feel so right and then end up so wrong the morning after? Plus he was starting to think way to deeply into things when he could just go over and talk with her. Making his mind up before he could find some reason not to go and talk to Sam he grabbed his car keys and Jacket and headed off towards the Cheyenne Mountain complex, they couldn't keep dancing around each other forever.

**Okay, promise for a longer chapter might have been misplaced there, chapter three might be another short one because they are going to talk and God knows no one wants them to start getting all long-winded and soppy. **

**Although I can't really promise for longer chapters since I can't see into the future I can promise you that things are gonna start getting a little more exciting from chapter 4, just please bear with me for the minute!**

**You know how I love reviews! (or if you don't you do now! lol) all I can ask is pretty please with a cherry on top? **


	3. Wandering Thoughts

**Authors Notes**

**- Oh My God I am tired! I wish I liked coffee because I am addicted to writing! It is actually 4:30 and beginning to get light outside so I think I must sleep soon!**

**- I am sorry for such a slow start to the story but I am gonna keep on with the usual babble and say it will get better! Please keep reading and remember this is just a start!**

**-Once more I ask for reviews, I am not overly popular as a writer it seems, the most reviews I have for any of my fanfics is 15, it's a shame coz I really love it when I check my e-mail and find out I have reviews! Woot!**

**-Please excuse me if parts aren't accurate, I don't have SG1 on DVD so it is a bit on memory work in parts and I have one of the worst memories known to man!**

**-Oh, btw I know the chapter titles are lame! Lol!**

Chapter 3: Wandering thoughts

Sam was trying to ease her brain into her latest project, scribble down the equations, concentrate on the task at hand, unfortunately her mind kept straying to the rhythmic tap, tap, tap as her pencil thudded against the paper in a steady beat, she was tired and wormhole physics was the last thing on her mind. She couldn't help but cast nervous glances at the phone, wondering if she had made any sense in the message she had left and wondering if he was going to call her back, she had received an anonymous call earlier – silence being the only thing on the other end of the line before the cluck of a receiver hitting plastic – presumably the hook – followed by a cold dial tone. She was almost certain it had been Jack and that this meant they were both extremely confused about how to deal with what had happened, their relationship, the love that couldn't possibly be…could it? Searching for another distraction her mind rested on a memory… She had been drugged, she saw things, heard things, knew the truth, her mumblings had saved Jack's life, a life which he had already put in the balance to save her, Dr Frasier had listened and stopped Jack just as the worst was about to happen.

Sam had been revived and looked into Jack's eyes as he admitted his feelings for her, still the words had come out disciplined, he told her enough to let her know he felt the same way despite them both knowing their feelings could not be acted upon.

Her mind flashed back further. The feelings had been spoken under the meticulous probing of the Tok'ra device but they had been confirmed much earlier; the mission when they had stood on two sides of a barrier, they could see the emotions wreaking havoc on each side but the forcefield could have been a world in those few seconds, he stood safe, the ball was in his court while her future looked bleak, the odds stacked high against her, she had yelled for him to leave her but he was adamant, he would save her or look into her eyes as they died together, there was no gray area when you held the life of the person you loved in the palm of your hand.

Jack had never been one to give up, he was a simple man and that was what she loved about him, no selection of factors, no compromise, it was right or it was wrong, Do or Die and it seemed in their case – Live or Love…

Their world was a parody of military action, they explored other worlds, saved their planet, helped the good, destroyed the evil, their purpose was to serve earth if you were to put it in basic terms, they did not live, they could not live, so they loved. They loved more than any one else could, they were in situations when blind love was the only thing that could help you through, bringing pure stupidity down to earth, never leaving one behind and knowing that if they had to say goodbye to this whole God-damned universe – they would do it together. Maybe one day there would be a gray area for them but not today and not tomorrow, for now they lived on a ride of unpredictable circumstance and life threatening coincidence, they just never seemed to be in control even when in the supposed safety of their planet.

Another memory that stuck in her mind was when they had tried to throw a particular device through the Stargate which didn't really fancy leaving; it had anchored itself in the gate room, impaling Jack on one of many of the spikes it had punched into the gate room walls with. She remembered clearly the feeling of helplessness, watching Jack die painfully in front of her eyes and being able to do nothing but keep him holding on, fortunately the incident had not happened previously – closer to the death of his son, closer to the time when they had just met, if it had, he would have not had the will to fight the pain and would have slipped through her fingers that day, she knew she would never fail to remember the image of him there, at one of his weakest points, fighting for his life and traced in neon blue, like many of the things that had happened to them, it was not a memory easily forgotten.

Lost in her thoughts Sam could not distinguish between the thud of her pencil against the pad of paper and the gentle tap on the doorframe of her lab, as a result she did not realize Jack had entered the room until he stood right in front of her.

She gasped as she fell from her chair and disappeared behind her desk with a muffled "Sir-" Jack strolled around her desk and offered a hand to the crumpled heap looking up at him from the base of it, Sam did not accept Jack's assistance, instead she clambered to her feet and backed away slightly

'Carter,' he replied formally, digging his fingernails into his skin to restrain himself from kissing her, reaching forward an bringing their lips together once more 'you called, said we should talk…' he waited for her to initiate the conversation but silence was the only reaction to this expectation, both stood embraced in the other's glare for a long while until Sam finally took the courage to utter the start to whatever was going to come next

'I…' She broke off, once more unsure of how to phrase exactly what she wanted to say 'I can't lie to myself anymore or dance around the truth, I love you Jack…I love you so much – too much and because of this I could not push you away when I most needed to, now we have been together for a night, now we have… slept together you have me totally and completely and I just don't know how to deal with that, nothing can weaken me more than you and I can't afford for anything to destroy what I have worked my whole life to build-' Jack coughed in the hopes of a brief intermission

'What are you saying Sam? That we can't be together because there is a one in a million chance we might get caught? You said yes to me just to break my heart the day after? Is that all I am to you…a weakness?' anger etched his voice as he spat the last word, Sam's hand shook as she tried to keep a leash on her emotions

'Sir… you are my superior officer, we are in service to our country and to our _world_, we go on life threatening missions everyday that there is every chance of us not coming back from, I can't accept you because it would ruin both of us, I can't leave with the fear that I might leave you behind that day or come back mourning your death and living my life thinking I could have done something more to save you, I refuse to put either of us through that,' she fought back the tears that threatened to fall as her emerald eyes, a sharp contrast from his chocolate brown ones bore into him with the honest truth 'Anyway, how can we work? Sneaking around to see each other every once in a while, I spend a night at your house you spend a night at mine? Maybe we could have the occasional kiss in the janitor's closet if we are lucky,' her words turned harsh, her voice raised, almost shouting at the man she loved but desperately wished she didn't ' Then how about the future hey? I mean how about children for example? What are we supposed to do? Drop the baby off at daycare before going to some unexplored planet at the other end of the universe?'

Each statement hit Jack hard in the chest with sharp realization, he shook it off, she couldn't just discard this, it was a feeling, it was painful and it was real

'I don't care,' his temper was rising and he was finding it increasingly difficult to keep it in check 'I don't care about my career anymore, my life, the little that I do own… I Just. Want. You! I can't control the feelings that rage inside of me, I would follow you to the end of the world and back just to feel you kiss me again, You wanted me, deep down you wanted this so don't you dare think you can shake me now! As for you dying and leaving me behind, that is never going to happen, remember when we were on apophis's ship and I was trying to save you instead of myself? Well whatever the situation I could never leave you to die, if we were in that situation again I would do exactly the same thing, If I was to die I want to be able to look into your eyes and know I die for _you_'

There was no doubt in Sam's mind that Jack's retort was the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to her but she still couldn't allow this to affect her, her points were still valid, there were still things that could not work which meant there wasn't a way they could work, relationships were for people who didn't go out and battle lunatics with snakes in their heads to save the world everyday, she would always love him but to act upon this love was too much to risk. The possibility of heartbreak outweighed that of happiness

'I'm sorry,' she reached out a hand and guided his lips towards hers before kissing him soft and sweetly 'Goodbye Jack,' she left her lab, tears rushing down her cheeks with the pain of disappointed love.

**Wow! It's actually longer than the other 2! And definitely more romantic than I expected! The next chapter things will start hotting up – Jack refuses to take no for an answer and there will be some Drama for Sam!**

**This is a great experience for me writing this! I am very much enjoying myself, it's nice to write angst where someone isn't dead and I love romance!**

**Thanx for reading and for the one review I saw I had before I came offline, I hope even if only a couple of people read it they enjoyed it! I aim to please!**

**Smiles**

**Sesa**

**xxx **


	4. I Can't

**Authors Notes**

**- Thank you so much for the reviews I have for the previous 3 chapters! It made me smile when I saw my inbox of my e-mail account listing review alerts! I must say I was also shocked to find my story on 6 alert lists! 6!**

**- In response to the Blue eyes/Green Eyes comments I am a little confused! I just watched 2 episodes of Stargate and in one her eyes looked green while in the other they looked blue – I think it depends on the lighting so I will describe the color of them depending on where they are and what the lighting is like…lol**

**- and I apologize for the dialogue being in ' marks, I understand it is slightly irritating but it would take me a lot longer to write every chapter if I changed the way I type the speech marks – set in old ways you know, I will try my best to change them for future fics but I can't promise anything for this one.**

**- Thankyou for reading this far, I hope you enjoy what is to come! **

Chapter 4: I Can't

'When did Teal'c say he would be back from Tulac?' Jack asked, tackling a bowl of fruitloops despite previous bad experiences

'He didn't, he just said that Bre'tac and Ry'ac wanted his assistance and he would return as soon as possible,' Daniel replied, yogurt being his preferred choice of breakfast this morning

'Ah, it's probably a Jaffa thing,' Jack shrugged, chasing soggy fruitloops with his spoon 'Have you seen Sam lately?' he had brought up Teal'c first to make his inquiry about Sam seem like him just checking up on the other two members of SG1 and not like he was obsessed with her whereabouts, Daniel looked up at Jack from examining his yogurt pot

'Strange,' he muttered, Sam was asking about you a couple of weeks ago, is there something up?' seemingly contented with whatever was in his yogurt he placed it back on the table and resumed eating it

'No, no, just checking in with everyone, I was just worried, I haven't seen her in the commissary lately…maybe I just missed her,' Jack contemplated casually, hoping Daniel would jump in with some useful information, he suppressed a smile as Daniel paused, spoon poised halfway from his mouth

'You haven't missed her,' he admitted, taking to stirring the yogurt while he was unable to eat it 'She hasn't been in here for days, she has been flitting from lab to lab gathering stuff towards a couple of things she needed to do, I recommended that she grab something to eat but she insisted that she was fine…' Daniel paused as if trying to recall why he had not simply dragged her down to the commissary

'Thank you Daniel,' he picked up his bowl and span around ready to take the remains of his fuitloops to the head of the room

'I wouldn't check in with her Jack,' Daniel advised as Jack headed for the door, pausing he span back around to face the archeologist, a questioning look asking what was already on the tip of his tongue

'Firstly you have to find her and secondly she isn't in a very good mood,'

'So she has PMT, I can handle it,' Jack sighed, Daniel shrugged, giving him a "okay but don't say I didn't warn you" look

'See You Later Daniel,' Jack called leaving his dirty bowl on the side and grabbing a few looks from the other SGC staff as he left the room.

'I'm not letting you slip by me Carter,' Sam span around and almost collided with Jack who stood framed in the doorway, blocking her exit

'Excuse me please Sir,' she asked politely, barley acknowledging him or his determined statement, he did not move, he merely stood in her path trying to catch her eye, wanting her to forget about her silly worries and come to her senses, she knew they were made for each other

'Sir Please,' she insisted, Jack paused and after a moment stepped aside but with no intention of leaving her be, she started off down the corridor at a near enough run but Jack followed her to another lab and another and another, each time she would collect something, a clipboard, an artifact and each time Jack would follow until they returned to Sam's lab and she placed all of her information on the desk, for a moment they stood as if frozen in time, unmoving, just pensive until she span around to launch attack against him

'Why won't you leave me alone?' she raged already sure of the answer but wanting to hear how he phrased it, how he was going to try and win her over

'Because I can't, because every time I close my eyes you are there! Every time I catch a breath I can sense yours on my cheek! You say you are trying to prevent our destruction by making sure we aren't together while in fact you are destroying me by denying what we have. I don't care about death but I would hate to die knowing that we had never given it a chance.' Once again he struck her where it hurt, a stab in the chest, did he like to see her bleed? She turned away again

'I can't,' she whispered, hysteria threaded into her voice 'do you love me? Do you love Samantha Carter?' she bit her lip to stop a sob escaping into the strained atmosphere of the room

'More than she could ever know,' the reply was barely above a whisper but she heard it, she heard the pain and the longing that betrayed his usual strong demeanor and it broke her heart

'Then you need to leave me alone,' she pushed passed him on her way out, once again she was leaving him

'Oh no you don't, not this time,' he followed her, jogging to catch her up this time instead of keeping at a steady pace, once ahead of her he backed her into a door, swiped his card and they both fell into the room, Jack making sure that he landed on the floor and softened the fall for her. Both climbed to their feet, Sam casting him an accusatory stare

'Don't Jack, don't try, you know what I need, just let me have it,'

'Yes I know what you need but I also know we aren't thinking of the same thing here,' he rushed forwards and kissed her, willing her to remember the reason they loved each other, willing her hysteria to settle and wishing for this drama to end, she broke away shocked and instantly feeling betrayed by her body which screamed with desire for Jack to take her in his arms and kiss her 'til the end of time, her brain argued fiercely with this causing her to implode, her mind and body were totally out of sync and hysteria was breaking the strong military woman that the SGC demanded

'This is the last time Jack,' she was barely audible but the force behind the words was strong 'Let me be or I will leave the SGC completely, please don't force me to take this option,' Jack hung his head in response, he had been forceful but for good reason, she might need space but he needed her, more than anything else in the world right now, this time it was his turn to shed a tear, he backed off, wiping his eyes quickly before disappearing into the corridor.

Sam tried not to concern herself with the huge mistake she knew she had made, instead she forced her exhausted body to push on and made her way up to Daniel's lab.

More than a little distracted she bumped into something hard and person-shaped; it took her a moment to realize it was the person she was looking for – Daniel

'Are you okay Sam?' he asked, containing a gasp aimed at her frail appearance, her skin was ghostly white, bags hung heavy under her eyes and her hair looked dull and flat, She opened her mouth to react but dizziness overcame her and the world started to fade, in other words – not really

Sam felt Daniel catch her as she fell.

**Okay BIG thing happening next chapter! Woot! And this whole "we can't be together" thing will be forced into the shadows! The first 4 were really foundation chapters now we are getting to the fun stuff!**

**Btw I am still looking for a beta…Anyone?**

**Smiles**

**Sesa**

**xxx **


	5. Clueless

**Authors Notes**

**- Ooo! I am so pleased! You guys are gonna give me a heart attack if my stats go much higher (not that I don't want them too!)! 12 alerts! 2 favs and 18 reviews - when I last checked - which I am extremely excited about! (I have never got higher than 15 reviews!) The enthusiasm and wishes for quick updates is keeping me motivated and now the foundations are set I'm starting to have some fun!**

**- I have gone from no offers of betas to 4 offers so I might accept all of them and send the chapters that I feel need improving along to one of them, take it in turns or something! It is hard to choose just 1! That is gonna be something I'll be sleeping on tonight! Youa re all too nice!**

**- Special thanx to TrinityStargazer3 and Sokkora Lewis who have posted some useful reviews and who I have had the pleasure of corresponding with. I hope we can chat more in the future!**

**- In another little note about the eyes thing I have put in a special part talking about her eyes and lighting – it sounds rather amusing and a bit ludicrous but the subject has got me staring intently at Sam's eyes now whenever I watch Stargate and it might settle people's "she has Blue eyes not Green for whatever reason!" comments! Lmao!**

**-R&R if it isn't too much trouble! Perdy please! (If you do I will make and active effort to stop creeping you out! lol) **

Chapter 5: Clueless

'Janet,' Daniel called rushing into the seemingly abandoned infirmary 'Dr Frasier!' he looked down at Sam, unconscious in his arms and wondered how on earth she had fooled all of them into thinking she was just a bit tired, he should have read the warning signs, the shuffles in the corridors, the isolation from other personnel, the lack of scientific babble that so often confused Jack…

Her appearance now, limp in his arms, so pale she could have been dying was the thing that finally brought him to realization. Guilt riddled his mind; he was with no doubt a terrible friend, too wrapped up in his own work to see that Sam's was drilling her into the ground, the most he had done for her in these previous few weeks was catch her as exhaustion dominated her body and rush her into the infirmary in the hopes that there wasn't serious damage

'Sam,' Janet gasped, finally appearing, presumably coming here from her office 'put her on the bed,' Daniel did as he was told and rested Sam's frail form on the nearest bed

'What happened?' she asked as Daniel backed away massaging the stubble which had been neglected after days of persistent translation

'I'm not sure, she bumped into me in the corridor, I asked her if she was okay and then she just passed out and I caught her,' staring into space for a moment, he tried to recall the moment he should have realized things weren't right but his mind kept swinging back to the image of Sam falling, he had asked if she was okay, he hadn't wished for her to take it so literally, a simple no would have sufficed.

'Well she seems stable, from what I can tell she is just anemic but I will have to run some scans to be sure, the people on this base – especially SG1 have the unfortunate habit of getting more then they bargained for,'

"you can say that again" Daniel thought, his eyes once again coming to rest on Sam and this mind repeatedly asking why she had not told someone before it had come to this

'You can leave her with me now Daniel, I am sure she will just need her rest,' Daniel backed towards the door slowly, almost not wanting to leave, wishing desperately that he could make things up to her

'Oh and Daniel,' Janet turned around to see him by the door before finishing her sentence 'Tell General Hammond that Sam might not be active for a couple of days,' Daniel's eyes which had whipped upwards to meet Dr Frasier's flickered back to Sam before he nodded and left the infirmary.

'She what?' Jack's temper soared as he received the news about Sam

'Sam passed out a couple of hours ago and has been in the infirmary since,' Daniel hung his head so low it was in danger of sinking into his pudding

'Why didn't you tell me?' Jack glared at Daniel, if looks could kill, he would have been dead twice over

'Because there is something going on between you and her, it looks like you have done something to upset her and I wanted her to be able to wake up without you being in her face,' his tone was mild but his statement shocked Jack into silence, Daniel hadn't guessed had he? He didn't know that the something was more than just a falling out? Regaining his composure Jack calmly continued the conversation

'I don't care what is between us right now but I need to see her and know she is alright, not just take your word for it, whatever she thinks of me I still care for her well-being,' His sudden change in mood and vague reference to their recent arguments was bending the truth and hopefully misleading Daniel long enough for him and Sam to figure out their differences and possibly arrange a bit more secrecy

'Just…don't stress her out Jack or I will have to make sure you stay away from her,' Daniel warned, Jack was taken aback by the threat which came so smoothly from his friend's mouth, there again he could understand where the mistrust came from, Sam was his friend too and at the moment she was the one in a dire situation

'I won't do anything to upset her,' Jack promised, giving Daniel an honest glance he left the archeologist's lab and made a determined route towards the infirmary.

His eyes could not help but fall upon Sam the moment he entered the room, even in a weakened state she was beautiful and he could never think otherwise

'Ah, Jack, Daniel said that you would be along sooner or later,' Dr Frasier had been preoccupied when Jack had entered the room but smiled as she noticed him gazing at Sam

'Yeah, well I need to check up on her, make sure she is okay and…stuff,' he trailed off, taking front row seat next to Sam's still unconscious form before looking back up at Dr Frasier 'What was wrong with her?' for a moment Jack noticed Janet looked hesitant but the body language which told him this was quickly shaken

'Well Daniel said that she hasn't been eating or sleeping properly for quite a while, this helped me come to a diagnosis… basically she has anemia, she passed out because the lack of food and sleep deprivation has starved her body of energy, she should wake up after a couple of hours good rest and then I will recommend that she eats something… would you monitor her a while? I have to pop over to my lab.' Jack noticed the speed of the explanation and noted Janet's rush to get out of the infirmary… there was something else

'You have missed something out,' he said, looking up at Dr Frasier expectantly, a pained expression did not do well to disprove Jack's statement

'Yes, I did…' she paused 'but honestly sir I don't think it is my place to say…' she waited anxiously for his reaction, hoping his desire to know wouldn't go as far as ordering her to tell him

'Okay, I'll wait, once you have told Sam it can be her decision to tell me,' Jack accepted, allowing Janet to release the breath she had been holding, as Dr Frasier grabbed a couple of files and left for her lab Jack's eyes fell back onto the only occupant of the infirmary besides himself, wishing for her to open her eyes, wake up and grace him with her sweet smile.

'Jack,' Jack's position in the infirmary had not changed for several hours but Sam's voice finally brought him out of his lucid state

'Welcome back,' he greeted, leaning forward so she could get him in focus, she opened her eyes wide to take in the surroundings and gain vision with a bit more detail, Jack noticed her pupils shrink as they took in the artificial lighting, the same lights made her eyes shine a clear blue, for a moment he contemplated how he had seen them at different times, in different situations, in semi-darkness you could swear they were green but when she gave him a glance in the briefing room it was large bright sapphires that acknowledged him, he had seen desperation, sadness, love, joy and the spark of a good idea in those eyes and he knew that each time her eyes had sought his for shared burden of these emotions was just another time to add to the list of "wouldn't trade for the world moments"

'What happened?' she asked, her current location finally dawning on her

'You passed out, Frasier said you have anemia because you haven't been eating or sleeping properly,' he informed her, deliberately missing out the part that there was something else wrong as well, a something that he had spent the last few hours trying to guess and hoping it wouldn't be too serious.

'Oh…why are you…?' More questions, Sam had always been curious, whatever the situation

'You didn't think that I wouldn't be here did you?' he smiled, slipping his hand into hers and praying that their argument was long over in her mind

'Maybe just a little…' she smiled, in truth she hadn't, 9 times out of 10, if she passed out from anything Jack would be there when she woke

'I'm sorry,' he admitted, taking a reasonably sane moment to express his regret about their argument

'It's okay,' she whispered 'I think both our tempers were a little high,' Jack held back a grimace when her words held no mention of them being together or that what he had said had gotten through

'Maybe when you're up and about we can talk like responsible adults?' he suggested, smirking to try and keep the conversation light mannered

'The way I feel right now I won't be up and about for weeks!' she laughed

'Sam you're awake,' Janet stated the obvious as she checked on the situation in the infirmary again, she had dropped back a couple of times in the past few hours but each time Sam had been nowhere near conscious 'I suggest once I have checked you over you should get something to eat, you must be famished,'

'Just a little,' mild sarcasm demonstrated Sam's good mood, Dr Frasier busied herself checking Sam's monitors and doing all of the other doctorish things Jack couldn't be bothered to concern himself about

'Am I good to go then?' Sam asked, flashing another look back at Jack

'Yes, you seem to be stable, but there is something else…' Janet cast a nervous glance at Jack, and Sam who had been pulling off the various wires attached to her arms and such focused a concerned gaze up at Dr Frasier

'What is it?' she asked, making no move to shoo Jack, noting this Janet decided to ask anyway-

'Are you okay with Colonel O'Neill being here while I tell you?' Jack would have crossed his fingers if it hadn't been such an obvious sign of which choice he preferred

'Yeah, sure,' Sam said her gaze not straying from Janet's face

'Well as you know I tend to do a large range of medical tests to confirm a diagnosis of any patient who is under my care at this complex because of the amount of strange alien illnesses which tend to spread around the base…'

'Carry on' Sam urged when Dr Frasier paused again, she wished that she would just tell her an not have this whole suspense thing going on

'Well one of my tests confirmed something else in your body which also could have caused you to faint as well as the anemia,'

'What is it like a cancer or something…?' worry etched Sam's face as the term "something else" slipped into the conversation again

'No, nothing like that,' she assured, hoping she wasn't about to destroy the look of relief that had spread across Sam's face, there was another pause before she broke the news;

'Sam… you're pregnant.'

**Okay, that was probably pretty predictable; I know some of you have already thought about it! It always stirs it up when someone gets pregnant though! You can't tell me it doesn't make for a good storyline! Lol! But I really enjoyed writing that chapter actually! Things are on the up for Sam and Jack but let's hope they can hold it together coz they have just been thrown in very deep water!**

**Next chapter: Sam Panics, Jack has to cool the situation down and their cover could get blown!**

**Thanx to all who have R&Rd over the past few chappies! I will update soon! ( I am actually just starting to write chapter 8 now!)**

**Smiles**

**Sesa**

**xxx**


	6. Mom's the Word

**Authors Notes**

**I hope this isn't getting boring for some of you… Do you know how hard it's going to be to write a pregnancy? It's something I wanted to do just in case I do a sequel but you will have to bear with me please. Actually all other fics are on hiatus for this one so I hope it isn't getting boring… I really wanted to see this one through**

Chapter 6: Mom's the Word

'I-I'm what?' Sam choked, swearing she was going to pass out again, Jack made no sound, the news had paralyzed him and now the only active part of his body was his brain which was whizzing though panicked thoughts at extremely high speeds, to the causal observer his body language betrayed him as cool and collected about the situation but in reality he could feel his blood boiling

'We have extremely advanced scanning technology, I was checking you over for cancer and then I spotted something else, when I did a more thorough test I came across a fetus… it is your business how, but you are pregnant Sam,'

'No, I can't be, it's not…well it is but…I can't be pr-pregnant,' the last thing Sam had needed was a more in-depth description of how definite her pregnancy was, her breathing quickly advanced to hyperventilation, Jack jumped in to steady Sam although to say he felt light headed was an understatement

'Breathe Sam, Breathe,' he took up position next to her on the bed and started rubbing small circles in her back

'Get rid of it,' she yelled suddenly 'I don't want it, get it out of me,'

'Sam are you sure?' Janet's stare turned from worried to serious 'It's a big decision, don't you want to think about it first?'

'No, I can't, kill it, take it out of me, I don't want it,' tears quickly rushed to her eyes and spilled down her cheeks, she couldn't think of it as a baby, it was a parasite, a parasite she couldn't have, a parasite that had to be destroyed

'No Carter you can't!' Jack jumped in to protect their little mistake; he wasn't going to let a child be condemned to death because he and Sam had been too stupid to think first, Sam's pained eyes whipped upwards to meet Jack's

'I can't have a baby Jack,' she cried 'There is too much at stake, too much horror in this universe to bring a child into it, I can't be responsible for condemning someone else to live on this sordid planet,'

'Well we can't be responsible for making a mistake and passing the sentence onto something else, whatever it is at the moment,' the argument had gotten so heated that Jack and Sam had forgotten about Dr Frasier's presence in the room, realization began to show on her face and before Sam could retaliate Janet had interrupted

'Jack…Jack's the father isn't he?' she asked Sam calmly, her mind hurtling through different scenarios to their situation, none of which where particularly good, Sam looked up at Dr Frasier, their secret was already shattered, whatever would come next could not be pleasant, if Hammond knew that Jack and Sam had this sort of attachment…

'Please don't tell General Hammond,' Sam begged hoping Janet could put herself in Sam's shoes for just a moment and feel the struggle that was taking place inside of her, Janet paused, she had broken the rules before, being a doctor she had to do that once in a while, then there was the whole patient/doctor confidentiality thing that she could fall back on if necessary

'Okay, I will keep your secret,' she granted Sam a getaway from her current situation…for now. There were still other issued to be addressed though

'Thank you! It's just until I can figure things out, get a termination or…something,' she had added the "something" for Jack's benefit, he was staring her down, determined to fight to the death if that is what it required for Sam to rethink an abortion - it was going to be hard fight for both sides

'hopefully the baby is big enough not to be harmed by wormhole travel at this time so there will be no need to make an excuse to get you off of active duty,' Janet tried to move the conversation on, Sam needed to eat something and Jack and Sam's argument over whether or not to terminate the baby wasn't for her to eavesdrop on ' Now I suggest you go to the commissary to eat something, make sure you eat and sleep properly, I want you to keep checking back here for a couple of days so I can see how you are getting on,'

Sam nodded but nearly collapsed when trying to get off of the bed; with the assistance of Jack she got back on her feet and the pair were able to awkwardly waddle to Sam's room for a change of clothes and then to the commissary where Jack got Sam's food for her and they picked a nice secluded corner to argue in

'You can't abort our child Sam,' Jack resumed the debate, tucking into a chicken korma 'This definitely wasn't my plan, I don't think there could ever be a plan for you and me but we can't destroy what we created,'

'You don't get it Jack,' Sam retaliated picking at her own dish – lemon chicken and rice 'You aren't the one who has to carry a child for 9 months, go through morning sickness, strange looks - I am the only woman on the highest ranking team in the SGC and I am still underestimated, being pregnant just gets people dancing around me, acting like I am made of china! Plus there are implications in so many other places; I have to go off world to tell my father who I am worried could tell the other Tok'ra which could lead back to General Hammond… Teal'c and Daniel are going to have to find out sometime and of course there is the infamous excruciating labor pain,' the last part came out louder than intended and caught a few worried glances from other SGC personnel

'I do get it and I already know the bad points, but that is all you focus on, yeah we have a few glitches to work out in the pregnancy process and although I apologize ahead of time for the labor pain-' Jack was cut of as Sam interrupted

'You don't have to apologize in advance because I am not having this child,'

'anyway,' Jack overrode her remarks and continued 'One day Sam you have to have a life, one day you might want a child, one day you actually might accept me but just because - for the most part – that one day isn't years from now you don't have to dismiss the opportunity when it comes along,'

Sam tried to remain adamant but he was slowly winning her over

'I want to be the one who helps you rush to the restroom when you are feeling nauseous, I want to see your face light up when you feel that kid kick for the first time and I want to be the one to run out in the dead of night to get you double chocolate brownie ice cream and a tub of pickles, I'm not going to leave you to do this alone, not for a second,' he gave her smile which she could not help but return

'You're doing it to me again Jack! I can't believe you!' She was totally astounded about how he could melt any barrier she put up with sweet words and a smile. She had used all of her energy to fight him but he just bounced back from any attack she made, she knew her points were valid but the way he expressed his views so passionately always seemed to prevail.

He hadn't mentioned it but she could see the words running through his mind on repeat – "Charlie O'Neill" maybe he fought so passionately because he couldn't bare to loose another child, looking away from him she tried to shake her guilt, she was going to deny him his second chance to be a good dad, to carry his child on his shoulders, play baseball in the yard, read his child to sleep at night, all things she knew he missed. He was also right about her wanting a child one day… why not seize the opportunity?

Accepting defeat she looked back at him and sighed

'Alright Jack you win… for now, see how things go, when we come closer to the marker where it is now or never for an abortion, then we can re-evaluate the situation. Is that okay?'

'Oh course, all I asked is you give it a chance,' checking no one was looking in their direction he took her hand and softly planted a kiss on her fingers, she smirked thinking back to all of the arguments that had taken place between them recently, how their strong opinions had conflicted, maybe people were right when they say – opposites attract.

**Okay I know the same old sets are getting boring – especially the infirmary and the commissary but there will be a new setting on the 8th chapter and then after that they are off world for a couple of chapters –just to keep you wondering!**

**Next Chapter – Sam finally comes to her senses and it's a date!**

**Smiles**

**Sesa**

**xxx **


	7. One Month

**Authors Notes**

**Just to clarify, I don't think Sam's reaction to being pregnant would be so**

**extreme, you will have to excuse it as ooc for the sake of the storyline**

**Sorry I haven't updated so quickly with this chapter I have been getting help with the story structure and my dad likes internet poker so I haven't had the opportunity to get online.**

**You will also have to excuse the lack of Teal'c in a lot of the story so far, he is really difficult to fit in because he doesn't have a leading role in Sam's life other than being a friend and team member – Jack is obviously in love with her, Janet is her close friend and Daniel is like a brother. The story has been very central to Sam and not Jack so Teal'c hasn't been around – you might have noticed me sending him off to Tulac for a while. I have tried to fit him in this chapter though. **

Chapter 7: One Month

'I swear it is unnatural to be sick this often,' Sam groaned, sitting in the infirmary for what felt like the hundredth time, Janet smiling as she checked Sam over and listened mutely to the endless ranting 'There is no point eating! In an hour it all comes back up again! Plus, what sadistic...' She paused trying to think of a suitable term for who she was trying to describe but giving up after none seemed quite vicious enough '- gave it the term "Morning sickness"? It lasts all damn day! It is hard enough to hide that I am pregnant but if I hurl all over the briefing table then it's going to be just a little hint!'

'I'm sorry Sam but there isn't much that I can do to help you there,' Frasier admitted, stepping away and allowing Sam to lower herself from the bed to the floor

'I could just get rid of it,' Sam added quietly, Janet looked up at her sharply

'As your doctor I can tell you that it is an option… but as your friend I don't think you should…' Sam rolled her eyes as she could sense another dissuasion coming 'look, all of us who are close to you and Jack can see you like each other a lot more then you let on, I don't think it was wrong that you broke the rules for one night but I do think it's wrong if you destroy what you have created-'

'Ah,' Sam realized 'You have been talking to Jack haven't you?' Janet looked sheepish for a moment

'Yes, I have, but these are _my_ views - Whatever you do fate is going to come back around and kick you in the ass for it. You slept together, you have received the consequences for it, if you get rid of the baby there will be a upshot for that too, and it could be a lot worse than what you are experiencing now' Sam frowned, for a woman of science there were a lot of serendipitous points slipping into her speech

'But I don't want a baby Janet, I could escape this and keep what me and Jack _have_ intact so one day maybe if we can sort things out we could have another shot, I could get the baby aborted and then just tell Jack it was a miscarriage.'

'Oh and that isn't going to make you feel guilty,' Janet's sarcasm wasn't doing much to improve Sam's mood 'Sam, I just said that there will be penalty for that, first of all; lying to Jack will make you feel guilty as hell and then upset him greatly when you finally do tell him which could make "what you do have" fall apart. Then even if he does forgive you, you might not ever have the opportunity to have children again…things happen,' There was a moment while the two women stood lost in thought and different possibilities, Sam's voice was the one which broke the silence

'Why is this so hard? I tried to stay away from Jack for so many reasons that no one seems to understand. I never said I wanted to deny love, just put it on hiatus but now I have this _thing_ growing inside of me which can only thrust us closer. Because so many things are telling me to give in I just can't help it but I don't want to, I don't want either of us to get hurt,'

'Jack might already have told you this but being in love means taking risks and unfortunately sometimes it means getting hurt, but in the long run, denying that love can leave you in even more pain,' Janet's brow creased and for a moment Sam could swear she spotted a tear, wiping under her eye fiercely Frasier looked back up at her friend 'Anyway, being a mom has a lot more involved than diapers, pacifiers and a screaming baby, there are things that you can look forward to with each milestone, I obviously haven't been Cassandra's mom from the beginning but even through the tears and tantrums I have enjoyed her company - being able to hug her when she is sad and know that she gains comfort from me, checking in on her every night before I go to bed, sometimes I even enjoy the arguments. She is 16 now and God can she argue! But even once she has stormed out to meet her boyfriend despite what I tell her to do she will always come to me later and say sorry, we always make up,' Sam knew Cassandra would slip into the conversation at some point, for a moment she wondered what the 16 year old would think about her having a baby, would she be shocked… happy… dejected? Would she agree with Jack and Janet? – That was most likely a yes.

Wandering back into her memories she recalled when she had been willing to give up her life to accompany Cassandra, she remembered the outrage she had felt when Cassey had been found alone on her planet and then when it was confirmed that she had a bomb laced into her chest; they had gone down to a military bomb shelter but Sam couldn't tear herself away from the heartbroken little girl who was about to die alone in a concrete cell, away from the beautiful flowers and trees, away from her family, and so far away from home.

She had been furious when the Goa'ould had used an innocent girl as a Trojan horse, condemned her to death, but here she was now callously wishing for the death of a child who had not yet begun to live, a child who was her own flesh and blood.

Just because it was so small and un-human-shaped she wanted to kill it in the time it needed sanctuary inside of her, it thought it would be safe and loved while instead it's protector was uncaring and the death toll loomed. Something clicked in her mind, she couldn't kill it, the parasite which she had sworn against now became a child, she tried to keep thinking - it was just a parasite but maternal thoughts plagued her mentality, it was _her_ parasite, her progeny, her legacy.

Janet had to contain a smile as she noticed comprehension dawn on Sam's face; a couple of days back, Jack had asked her to help persuade Sam to keep the baby because despite everything he had said she was still dubious. Janet knew that everything else was not working, Sam was one of the most strong minded people she knew and was not easily influenced but using her soft spot for Cassandra had worked and now Sam saw things from a different perspective

'Are you okay Carter?' Jack barked, entering the room with Daniel and Teal'c close behind

'Yes sir, just feeling a little queasy so I asked Janet to check me out,' Sam replied cheerily, Janet's eyebrows raised, she had to give them credit – they pulled of the "we're just friends" act so well they could have won an academy award

'You really have been spending too much time in here, I think you ought to rent a bed' Daniel joked, unfortunately not even inspiring a titter from the occupants of the infirmary, his face fell slightly but he continued on to re-integrate Teal'c into the group 'I filled Teal'c in about what has been happening here while he was in Tulac,'

'I'm okay now, just a bad takeout I think,' Sam assured, confident that Daniel and Teal'c were convinced

'I am glad you are feeling well Major Carter, maybe I can discuss the events at Tulac with you later…?'

Oh, I don't think that's necessary, _we_ have already spent a nice couple of hours talking about it with detailed description of the firing and the blood and…such…Sam might just want to just read the report,' Daniel interjected before Teal'c could start his account, Sam gave Daniel a grateful smile; she wasn't particularly raring to listen to a saga about dying Jaffa and how Teal'c had, by some miracle, scraped out of trouble, it was bound to be the old cliché.

'We were wondering if you wanted to come to the commissary with us to get something to eat and I'm sure we can find something to talk about,' Daniel requested, crossing his fingers that Teal'c wouldn't be his only company, as great as Teal'c was, they didn't have that much common ground when it came to conversation. Sam's instant reaction was to play a face of regret

'Sorry guys, I can't, I have some other stuff I need to do tonight' Daniel's face fell for a brief moment, presumably he had wished for some company that knew what he was talking about

'Never mind, Jack is engaged as well, I guess it's just you and me hey Teal'c?' He gave Teal'c an enthusiastic slap on the back which he was afraid – for a moment – that the Jaffa would return, fortunately he just received the usual cocked eyebrow.

There was some light conversation before Daniel and Teal'c left. Finally getting the hint that Jack wanted to be alone with Sam, Dr Frasier also disappeared from the infirmary

'Are you actually doing anything tonight?' Jack smirked, having noticed the relief on Sam's face when Daniel had accepted her excuse

'No, I just didn't fancy trying to concentrate while Teal'c and Daniel told me their respective stories and snap at me when they realize my mind is somewhere else,' she replied amusedly

'Well would you like to come out for dinner with me tonight?' Jack asked laughing when she replied with a schoolgirl-like grin

'I would very much like that; I have to go home to get changed first though,'

'Of course, I'll drive you home, go and get changed myself and then pick you up again at…' Jack observed his watch for a moment, the hands read Six Thirty '7:30,'

'Okay then,' she accepted 'It's a date!'

**Okay I am sorry, that was a bit more foundations, I needed her to realize she wanted the baby so I had to ramble for a bit, the chapter originally was going to be them out at dinner but if I added that this chapter would be massive and get quite tedious most likely! I will let you process this first!**

**Next Chapter – Candlelight dinner, proposals (sorry not the first one that jumps to your mind) and thoughts about the future**


	8. Judgement

**Authors Notes**

**-There is a little bit of how Charlie died in here, if there was an episode that mentioned details I haven't seen it so it is a lot of guesswork (and making stuff up so it is more sad), I apologize if I get anything wrong.**

**- There is some stuff from the movie in here, so if you're confused…just rent it! Lol**

**- I was just sitting around and realized how many good people the show has gotten rid of – Martuf, Dr Frasier, General Hammond, Jacob, JACK! I like the older crew (+Vala coz she is kwl!) they are better to write with!**

**- Thankyou loads to my friend beta – Caroline O'Neill she helped me slow down the storyline a bit and prepare me for a sequel (with will have Vala in it… I speak no more!) Plus she helped me fill out a few of the emptier chapters! Thank you!**

**-There is a plan for a sequel named conviction – can I have some response to whether you think a sequel would be a good idea? **

Chapter 8: Wishing forward - Crying back

'Wow,' Jack could not take his eyes of the woman who had just answered the door to him, he looked at her up and down and could not utter a word; there was no term to describe how beautiful she was dressed in just a plain black dress and heels, the simplicity suited her perfectly

'It doesn't look right does it?' Sam sighed and turned away to take the stairs at a run

'No,' Jack stepped over the threshold and grabbed her arm before she disappeared, turning back, her eyes locked onto the deep browns which seemed to approve of her appearance 'you look…amazing,'

'You're just saying that,' she assumed on no basis but her own scrutiny, this statement was disproved however, when Jack pulled her into his arms and kissed her

'Shall we pop over to Starbucks for a coffee then?' Jack said as they broke apart, he couldn't help but laugh when Sam looked slightly crestfallen 'I'm kidding, I'm taking you to Restaurant de la Paris,' Her face lit up again and she took the hand he offered without hesitation

'Let's go then,'

As soon as they had entered the restaurant Sam could feel the warmth of the place; it was vast and busy but the dull chatter belonged mostly to couples who sat basked in the candlelight and laughing while they ate, Jack and Sam were led to a corner table where they sat and menus were offered to them, silence reigned in their corner while they chose what they wanted and once the orders had been made there was an awkward bout of looking around but not quite at each other and polishing knives and forks simply for the sake of it being a distraction

'I know you set Janet up to convince me Jack, I am not stupid,' Sam started the conversation on a rather hostile note

'I have no doubts about your intelligence Carter,' He replied in a much lighter manner before adding '…did it work?'

Sam thought back to what she had resolved, every time she had tried to convince herself that she didn't want a baby her thoughts had swung back round to that reflection therefore her decision had not changed

'I want to keep the baby,' she admitted pretending not to notice Jack's silent celebration 'but you have to promise me Jack that you are not going to leave me. Emotional blackmail was the only thing that inspired my decision, in all honestly I am scared, so many things could happen…I just don't want to be alone,'

'I haven't left you before and I have no plans to in the future,' he took her hand, just like he had in the commissary except this time an honest stare replaced the kiss 'I promise that I will be there when you need me, I promise to love and protect _both _of you and I promise that nothing will harm you or our child,' her look softened as she saw tears well in his eyes, not sure whether she wanted to take the risk she whispered quietly –

'Charlie…' his hand slipped away from hers in a sudden gesture

'What happened to him will not happen again, I promise, never again, never… no one should have to outlive their child,' the sentence had started boldly but tailed off into anguish, she was about to change the subject when he continued, dull quiet tones describing his pain;

'I told him he had to leave it alone, I told him so many times, I had even banned toy weapons from the house because I didn't want him thinking that toys and the real thing are the same, in reality they are so much more… vicious, they can snatch a life away before you can draw a breath. I was in the yard and I heard a shot… I knew the second I heard it that something was horribly wrong… it was one of those gut feelings, you know?' he looked up at Sam from his slumped position on the table, presumably he was trying to hide any sobs from escaping into the buzzing atmosphere of the restaurant, a man looking like he had just passed out on the table wasn't the most inconspicuous sight though. Shooing a few strange looks with an angry glare, Sam let her focus return to Jack's story 'I rushed upstairs, not bearing to even imagine what I would find…,' Jack grimaced as he recalled the scene and his voice shook as he pressed on 'Charlie had managed to take the safety off of the gun and had shot himself in the chest… there was blood, so much blood… it had soaked his Tee-shirt and it covered the carpet… He was still alive when I got there…he…he…' Sam who could feel a tear slip down her cheek reached out and touched his arm compassionately

'It's okay,' she whispered 'You don't have to-'

'No, you have to know why it won't happen again…' Sam bowed down and let him have a moment before he continued 'He cried out to me…he was sobbing in pain… I remember – "daddy, daddy it hurts, daddy help me" I had grabbed the nearest item of clothing I could find and pressed it onto the wound but he was shaking so violently and screaming so loud, I desperately wanted to give my life to save his but I couldn't – "daddy, I'm so cold," he didn't know what was happening, he didn't know he was dying, he didn't know that he needed to say goodbye…he was dead by the time the ambulance arrived… he had died in my arms, pleading for me to help him…'

'I'm so sorry,' Sam took his hand and locked their fingers together; Jack sat up, faking a smile and wiping his tears away, He did not feel it was wise to dwell too long on this subject, he never had and he didn't ever plan to talk about it longer than he just had.

His story had hit Sam hard, there had been brief references made but Sam had never heard what had truly happened, unfortunately, now she knew, she wished she didn't

'Shortly afterwards I was called back into service and I went with Daniel, Kowalski and a few others to Abydos, if it wasn't for Daniel I would have died and probably killed people with me, I was told when I was there that if I found a threat I was to blow up the gate, obviously – I will give him his credit – Daniel had more common sense, Ra would still have been floatin' around in that ship of his if he hadn't been around. When I was sat away from everyone he came to me and after I had told him that my family wasn't really a family anymore he brought me back to my senses… he said - "I don't want to die, your men don't want to die, these people here don't want to die…it's a shame you're in such a hurry to" for all his faults I have to thank him, if it wasn't for Daniel I would be a dead man right now,'

'Obviously I've heard of the original Abydos mission but I didn't know so much had gone on…didn't you tell everyone Daniel was dead?' Sam interested herself in the subject, trying to pull away from their previous discussion

'Yeah, it was easier than explaining that he had got married and had decided to live on a different planet with a bunch of weird people who didn't understand a word of English,'

Sam was about to ask another question when their food arrived, she smiled up at the waiter as he placed a dish of salmon and steamed vegetables in front of her.

Clearly tiring of talking about something which had happened so long ago Jack moved back to more current affairs

'Are you going to tell Jacob about us when we go to the Tok'ra base tomorrow?'

'I will if he isn't busy, it isn't a social call is it? He asked us if we could come and help the Tok'ra with a big problem they had been experiencing,'

'Well he still might want to know that he is going to have a grandchild,' Jack reasoned

'We will deal with their problem first and then if we have time then I will tell him, he doesn't need to be distracted, he isn't just my dad anymore, he is an important part of a rebel force against the Goa'ould…' Sam retaliated, she wanted to tell her father but felt a bit uncomfortable about doing so, once she had told him Selmak would know too which ultimately could expose them. Pushing the thought from her mind, she looked back at Jack, determined to enjoy the rest of the evening.

'So…I'm home,' in a strange High-School date kind of way Sam and Jack stood on Sam's porch, the porch light was off but moonlight illuminated the two forms

'Thank you Sam' Jack whispered, not wanting to let her go, see her walk away… he wanted them to be able to stand here in the moonlight, the gentle breeze whipping at their hair and bringing them closer together, he wanted one kiss to last them a lifetime, this moment was perfect, both at ease, both enjoying the warmth of the other's arms

'What for?' she asked, the moonlight only making her eyes glint a deeper blue

'For giving me a second chance,' he placed his hand tenderly on her stomach, they were a family, the three of them together…happy, there was a time when this feeling had rushed away from him but now it flooded back, there had been three once, there had been happiness but when tragedy had struck he hadn't believed he would ever be gifted again, fortunately some toxic atmosphere and a night pinned as a mistake had given a sad lonely man another shot and now there was not enough gratitude in the world for him to give back. Sam leaned against his chest, feeling safe in his embrace and instantly caught up in the steady beating of his heart, it soothed her.

'Do you ever get fed up standing on this porch?' Jack asked, Sam could hear the deep tones leave his throat from her position against his chest; She looked up at him, where was he going with this now?

'I don't know, I wouldn't call the porch the centerpiece of my house, I don't spend that much time out here…why?'

'Well, I was just thinking, there will be two of you living here and maybe there might not be enough room,' He rolled over his words, not quite knowing how to phrase his suggestion 'You might need some more space and a place where we can keep the three of us together…less hassle for the baby, not having two homes…' by the end of the sentence Sam had twigged on

'Are you asking me to move in with you?' when she received a small nod in return her eyes instantly fell away from his, he thought what they had was a steady relationship, it was nothing like that, what they had was for the baby, she loved him and had already failed to convince herself otherwise but a relationship was too much for her at the moment 'I'll think about it,' she settled 'for the baby…you understand that right Jack? That what we have for the moment is for the baby, not for us. You understand you have to give me time?'

'The baby, of course…take all the time in the world,' They exchanged goodnights and Sam greeted the warmth of her house as she stepped inside, Jack lingered on the porch for a minute before making his way up the drive towards his car. Sam watched from a window hoping that she had not hurt him with her reluctance; her guilt caught her when he gave one last glance at the house and drove away.

A tear stained her cheek as she climbed the stairs and changed out of her dress. Sitting on her bed she contemplated for the first time the baby itself; was it going to be a girl or a boy? Would it have her eyes, would it have Jack's nose? Would she and the baby be swarmed by people on the street who had seemingly forgotten the English language and replaced their vocabulary with sugar-coated baby speak? She had no hopes towards the baby other than it having a good life; she would leave the details in the hands of fate. She pulled up her pajama top and placed her hand where Jack's had been not so long ago, there was something growing inside of her, something amazing and while her feelings didn't expand as far as love for something the size of a jewelry box she did promise with all her heart that she would protect it and look after it until it was ready to open it's eyes to the world…maybe love would come later.

**Okay! That was a muddle! Just a couple of tid-bits I wanted to sneak in there before the adventure! Off-World Next chapter – I think you will like the very original chapter name to! lol **

**You will have to excuse my strange writing technique for this chapter – it wasn't actually planed! I am actually surprised you have hung on this long! Most people blank me out when I write stuff this long or talk for this long (I have verbal diarrhea as my mom says – okay not the nicest term!) lol**

**Next Chapter – Jacob is a bit shocked and oh my God we are having a snake problem! (not of the Tok'ra kind of course! lol)**


	9. Off World

**Authors Notes**

**- Oo, yay! I was really looking forward to this! Finally some off world action… well not for Sam and Jack but it is the start of something!**

**- I am quite glad because I get to bring another decent character in – Jacob, hopefully I have written him in character…hopefully everyone is in character – or as much as they can be given the circumstances**

**- I can confirm that there will be a sequel! I got a positive response to the question last chapter and even though we are just close to hitting the half way marker on this fic there is a plan for the sequel almost finished with some Daniel/Vala in it, I think I am on a roll with this romantic babble! Lmao**

**- Thanks for all the offers for Betas btw but I have finally decided to settle with just one (anymore than that and I would probably get confused) Caroline O'Neill…I think I mentioned her before…anyway she is the official beta for this fic. I might accept another to help with the sequel.**

**-Thankyou to Sokkora Lewis for the most amazing review! I screamed with delight when I saw it! It was huge! It had me smiling all day! **

Chapter 9: Off World

'Dad,' Sam greeted her father with a smile and a hug, the others in SG1 followed her closely, the wormhole shutting down when Teal'c was descending from the platform to the sand that stretched across the baron planet

'It's nice to see you again Sam,' Jacob returned the smile, his outstretched hand guiding the human team towards the location of the rings 'It's a shame that it isn't under more pleasant circumstances,' Jacob dismissed a titter from O'Neill, it was widely know to all those around him that he didn't like the Tok'ra and did not warrant any visit to them a pleasant circumstance

'What is it dad?' Sam pressed on; Jack was bound to say something insulting if the group held silence for too long

'Well it appears we have some kind of saboteur lurking in the base, this saboteur has been going around the base unseen, killing Tok'ra and trying to make it look like an accident,' Jacob solemnly shared the details 'As you know our numbers are thinning so when the 6th Tok'ra operative was killed and we could not find the assassin we decided to call in some help,'

'Is it one of those weird Goa'ouldy guys floating around like at the Alpha site?' Jack asked, remembering back to the mission when SG1, Jacob and Bre'tac had been the only thing standing between a full blown shoot out between the Free Jaffa and the Tok'ra

'No, we have already ruled that possibility out, the work is way to sloppy and there is no pattern to the killings or the damage that has been caused to much Tok'ra machinery,' Jacob slashed a line through the first possibility on their enemies list

'Nirrti,' Sam's mind instantly jumped to the renegade Goa'ould 'She has stealth technology and she has pulled the same trick on the SGC…although fortunately there was no bloodshed,'

'That is what we think, we have tried to track her down but so far have had little success, and we thought you could help having had a similar experience,'

The rings transported them to a small facility scattered with Tok'ra who greeted them with warm smiles and verbal welcomes on their ways to other chambers, usually they were oblivious to the presence of SG1 but they had obviously been instructed to be friendly to the people who had saved their asses many times and were just about to again.

'So how many of the council are still around? Doncha just love those guys?' Jack's sarcasm gained a raised eyebrow from both Teal'c and Jacob; Sam had to quickly hide her amusement, Selmak was the one to answer his question this time

'There aren't many of the council left, in battle their lives are priority but many do not wish to be viewed any higher than any fellow Tok'ra and stay to fight alongside old friends. Because of the sudden attack that wiped many of us out the council has been accepting a couple of the more experienced into their ranks, Jacob and I being one of them,'

'Yeah okay, creeping me out, you and Jacob, even though you share the same body aren't one person, please distinguish between,' noticing Sam's shut-up-now expression he added 'Sorry…it's just a snake thing…'

Selmak graciously accepted his poor excuse for an apology

'It is okay, I understand that you have had previous bad experiences O'Neill, I will refrain from naming Jacob and myself as one again,'

'Thanks,' thankfully Jack was cut off from any further insults as they entered the council room, Selmak swept past them taking a seat at the head table and invited SG1 to take seats on a circular one that sat just ahead of the row of councilors.

'Well that was boring…do we get to shoot something now?' Jack sighed exiting the chamber with the rest of SG1

'Sir, I think they want Nirrti alive,' Sam responded, not disagreeing with the tedium of the meeting

'We could just shoot her and say it was an accident,' Jack cast a look over to Daniel who was still engrossed in the details of their mission and seemed oblivious to the conversation that was playing out between his fellow team members

'That is not advisable O'Neill, she could prove to be a great source of information,' Teal'c drew Jack's attention away from the archeologist

'Yeah, you're probably right,' he agreed glumly 'where we headed next?'

'Well there are a couple of us here to show you to your accommodations,' Jacob joined SG1, flanked by three fellow Tok'ra 'Kai'ran shall take Daniel, U'tak can Take Teal'c, Feshray to Jack and Sam gets me of course,'

'I'll give you a trade,' Sam joked, looking at the reluctance of Jack to be sent alone with a Tok'ra he knew nothing about, he was bound to say something discourteous. The group laughed and as the others were escorted in different directions, Jacob led Sam along the right corridor of a forked path. Awkward smiles came nowhere near to speech until they entered guest quarters; the room was almost bare apart from a bed, couch, dresser and pathetic looking plant, it was much like the rooms at the SGC except more crystalline

'Sorry, it's pretty much the best we have got, we haven't been here long enough to work on guest quarters and Jack got the nicest because he is most prone to complaining,' Jacob chuckled, wondering if Selmak was also aware of the nervousness which emanated off of Sam or if he was just being worrying father again. Sam mutely agreed with her father's comment about Jack, settling herself on the couch and casting around. Pausing to let Sam get comfortable Jacob decided to take a shot

'Look…Sam,' he approached his daughter and sat next to her, he wasn't just being over-worried, the conflicting feelings that came from Sam could have labeled her as a beacon 'Is there something up? You just seem a little…uneasy,'

Sam did not think before the statement slipped from her mouth, if she had thought for a second, common sense would have told her that the time they were supposed to be ringing in a renegade system lord wasn't the time to release such a big thing on a man whose concentration needed to be elsewhere

'Dad, I'm pregnant,' There was silence for a long while in which it seemed Jacob was having a silent conversation with himself…or Selmak

'Wow…Sam, this is…this is amazing,' He beamed, a happy grandfather 'How far along are you? How's the baby? …Who's the father?'

Sam was happy for his positive reaction but there was still one more blow to come – the answer to the third question

'I am about 2 months along, give or take. The baby is fine, Janet is keeping an eye out for us… as for the father…Dad you might not like this, maybe you shouldn't know' Sam bit her lip, avoiding looking into her father's eyes

'What? You plan on keeping the father of my grandchild a secret from me?' Jacob was almost incredulous; he knew it couldn't be that bad, he just wanted to know. Sam battled with herself for a minute before deciding – what the hell;

'Jack…Jack's the father,' Sam flinched in advance, prepared for the wave she knew was just about to hit

'WHAT! You… and Jack…you and Jack, you?' Sam could swear by the time Jacob had stopped mumbling he had been through every combination of the words "you and Jack"

'We aren't together…It was just one night…we should have restrained ourselves I know but now, now we have this – this baby…and we want to see it through,' pauses seemed more common than words in Sam's explanation

'But how about the regs? What if you get caught? Sam you could be demoted or even loose your position at the SGC, what did you hope to gain by this?' his temper flashed red

'Dad! I didn't mean for this to happen. I…I love Jack. I tried to stop myself but… we were under some kind of influence…'

'What, you were drunk?' Sam's explanation seemed to turn from making her father understand to digging a very large hole

'No, we had been on a planet, the atmosphere made us addicted to things, Jack got addicted to Jell-O, Teal'c to the television show "The Simpsons" and I…I got addicted to Jack,' she rushed forward with the explanation, trying not to give Jacob too much time to think about what exactly she was saying 'It was a hormone imbalance, Janet put us on medication but the effects of the atmosphere didn't wear off straight away, he came into my quarters and well, it kinda went from there,' she shifted slightly, her father definitely didn't need a lecture on the birds and the bees and she was starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable discussing her "personal life" with the last person she ever thought she would have to explain this kind of thing too, actually he was making her wish she was trying to explain it to General Hammond.

'So you had a hormone imbalance, you became addicted to your CO, you slept with him in the middle of a military complex and now you're pregnant,' Sam cringed, the way he had phrased it, Jacob could have been cracking a joke

'Yes,' she answered reluctantly, wishing there was at least something she could have corrected in that sentence but her father had just recounted the basic scenario.

'Jacob is quite angry at this moment in time,' the deep tones of Selmak continued the conversation 'He asks that you give him time. He does not quite know what to make of this news,' annoyance bubbled inside of Sam and surfaced in an almost adolescent response

'Oh yeah dad, just because you can't deal with the truth and just because you can't boss me around anymore you bring out Selmak to speak for you. Why can't you just understand for once? You were the same when Mom died except you hid behind your work instead of your symbiote. When you actually get a backbone you should be able to find me in Daniel's quarters!' she stormed out of her accommodation leaving her father/Selmak looking extremely pissed, her anger overrode her guilt as she asked a random Tok'ra where she could find Daniel's quarters, it had been a very low blow bringing her mom into the conversation but once again Jacob had twisted the situation onto the negative and once again was only concerned about work and pushing Sam as far up the military ladder as possible.

She was still seething when a zat gun shot struck her from behind. Her muscles spasmed and she fell to the floor, vaguely registering a robed figure before darkness clouded her vision and she lost consciousness.

**Okay, you are probably thinking that Sam is very unlucky! I have to agree but you could say the same for SG1 in general looking back on all the messes they have gotten into. Her good Karma should pull her through in the end though… at least for this fic (mwah ha ha ha!) lmao**

**I was thinking wouldn't it be cool if the cast of Stargate actually read fanfictions? They might and we would never know…Shame they probs don't have time, I think I would like Amanda Tapping to read mine the most, she ROX! (okay back from dream world now, there are much better fics for them to read then this one! I wouldn't recommend it to Christopher Judge anyway because Teal'c really isn't in it much… I could just tell him that if it was an episode he would be directing it! lol!)**

**Next Chapter: Sam finds out why she got more than she bargained for, Can she trust the word of a Goa'ould though?**


	10. More than Misfortune

**Authors Notes**

**-As far as writing goes this chapter is a bit weird so you will have to sty with me…things could get weirder!**

**- I have now found a beta who will be joining Caroline O'Neill in beta-ing the sequel – Sokkora Lewis - Thanx! I am looking forward to seeing what you can add! And talking some more on msn of course! lol**

**- Next chapter I will post up some thanx for regular reviewers but I didn't get a good night sleep last night and really can't be bothered atm! (Not that your reviews aren't appreciated – they really are!)**

**- For anyone who is interested I have a Stargate SG1 message Board called Kawoosh Gate (I love when Sam talks about Kawoosh in "Crusade"!) if you fancy checking it out the address is on my profile! **

Chapter 10: More than Misfortune

The first thing Sam was aware of was the pounding of her headache as it beat hard against the inside of her skull, the next thing that came apparent to her was her location as her eyes snapped open and she realized she occupied a small cell, one wall was totally absent and lead into what appeared to be a large lab. If it wasn't for previous experiences she would have tried to crawl out into the larger space but she was wise enough to know that an invisible force field confined her.

She sat in semi-consciousness for a while, wondering how long she had been in this cell and if anyone knew she was missing. She knew it wasn't a habit of the Tok'ra's to zat their allies and imprison them; this was the work of their saboteur-

'Nirrti,' Sam forced herself into a more dignified sitting position as the familiar face of her nemesis appeared in front of the force field of her prison. The rebel Goa'ould stared smugly into the eyes of one she knew well, a fierce Tar'i warrior whose fate she now held.

'Major Samantha Carter… I have heard of many of your recent escapades, it seems only one freed from the restrictions of system can tame such heroism, you have eluded capture and death at the hands of the system lords but you walk directly into my trap'

'You killed Tok'ra, you sabotaged their machinery so you could lure SG1 here?' she cast around looking for weakness, any chance of escape, for the moment she needed to keep Nirrti talking, she remembered something Teal'c had mentioned many times – a Goa'ould's greatest weakness was their arrogance, Nirrti was no different to any other system lord, she thrived on the colorful details of a malicious plan, modesty was not a word in her vocabulary, every second to gloat was a second worth totally wasting her breath on

'Actually I was just after O'Neill but while prowling the corridors of the Tok'ra base I stumbled upon something of much greater value.' Her eyes glowed and a smirk crept across her face as she surveyed Sam for a moment, Sam tried not to make a reaction but there was a horribly bad feeling bubbling in her gut, she stared defiantly into the dark eyes of the Goa'ould but at the same time could not resist the instinct to protect the part of her that was the most vulnerable, the part of Jack she carried, he was there with her if it was, her hand flew to her stomach and Nirrti's smile grew almost triumphantly

'Do you still feel a strong warrior Major Carter or do you feel that weakness inside of you? Does it plague your thoughts, pull at your emotions? Does your morality make you wish to nurture O'Neill's spawn or is there something you know you have not been telling yourself?' The hard truth of these questions made Sam's eyes flicker, how could something so evil know? She wished it were lies, all lies, she could not trust this demon which merely held human form, she had faced the same evil but with different faces, through every fight she knew where her focus lay, she would die if it meant saving the world but this time the evil was right, if faced with the same decision would she sacrifice her child or would she let the world fall around her? not so long ago it had been a certainty but now her morals and responsibilities, her focus and her _feelings_ clashed in a war with herself which on all accounts but bloodshed was the largest she had ever faced.

'Is this another genetic manipulation thing? Are you planning replace the baby with a bomb? Are you going to warp my mind until my body can't take it? What is it this time Nirrti? No doubt something for your personal gain?' This conversation was turning into a hot-seating session, so many questions but never an answer, rhetorical questions that sent your head spinning until a voice finally grounds you and you have to stare once more into those cruel eyes

'You made a mistake, setting me free…It is not what I would have done in your position,' Nirrti now paced, her eyes only resting on her captive for brief spans of time before gazing around the lab, just longing to use many of the delicate instruments that lay within these walls, she also knew though that her desire would have to wait 'You know my cause Major Carter, you have tried to stop me and now you find yourself tangled in my plans…I want the child, the spawn of Jack O'Neill, once I have it I may find a suitable arrangement for you' Sam had opened her mouth to interrupt but this statement had shocked her into silence, seconds ticked by mutely as the creature that paced before Sam waited for a response, when the initial shock had passed Nirrti gained a venomous reply

'If you harm a single hair on my baby's head I will kill you, even if I have to come back from the dead to drill your sorry ass into the ground you will pay, the tiniest scratch on this child's cheek will be a bullet in your chest, every scrape, every bruise will scar you 10 times worse and don't you dare think for a second that I can't,' both hands shielded her abdomen now. She could feel no swelling under her touch but knew that it would grow and there would come a point when she couldn't protect it any longer, it would force its way into the world and straight into the clutches of a cold blooded parasite

'Oh I have no intention of harming the child,' Nirrti responded amusedly, the rant of a protective mother-to-be was like sweet honey to her ' I want the child for the knowledge it will possess,' There was just one slight variation, it lasted for a mere second but Nirrti caught it – the glare that emanated hateful wishes upon her flickered to questioning, Nirrti had her hanging, Samantha Carter did not know the importance of her child, serendipity at it's best, the next generation of everything the universe would ever know 'The child has the blood of the ancients and the Tok'ra running through it's veins, your experience with the Tok'ra Jolinar and Jack's experience with the ancient device that downloaded their knowledge into his brain have twisted themselves into your DNA, this child is what I have been searching for, what I have been trying to make. I spend years attempting to engineer the perfect solution yet now after all of the battles I have fought the answer simply strolls into my midst,' Sam could not suppress the horror that flooded her thoughts as each word bound her tightly and pulled her ever closer to what she had managed to do in total naivety.

'You want the baby to be your new host…' Sam was overwhelmed as horrible images hit her in waves, she would be dead long before she could prevent it from worshipping Nirrti, giving itself to her as a host, killing millions in the name of the Goa'ould…so much screaming…so much blood…

'Be proud Major Carter, your child will grow to do great things.'

The chilling laugh that had followed that statement haunted her even as the lab and her cell with it were plunged into darkness, tears rolled silently down her cheeks as she could see beautiful blue eyes filled with hate, hear the screams that echoed from the future to her guilty ears, she could hear Jack's voice, see him as he bowed to it, the figure stared down at it's own father without even a spark of recollection, a sense of morality, it took the staff and aimed, no remorse, blood had stained it's hands before, the staff it held reeked of death. Jack looked past the armed weapon and directly into those sparkling sapphires he knew so well

'You have you're mother's eyes,'

A sob escaped into the night as Jack fell.

**Ok-ay…that was unusual, I quite enjoyed writing that actually although it is probably the strangest chapter I have done so far! If you didn't get that end part it was like a daydream premonitiony kind of thing…I dunno it just sounded good when I wrote it! lol**

**I did actually think about confirming the sex of the baby this chapter but for writing purposes I didn't, I want it to be a surprise although there is only a 50/50 chance… you will probably have guessed it ages before it is confirmed! That is one thing I have noticed about you lot, you are good at guessing…or maybe I am just crap at cliffhangers…probably the latter! lol **

**Next Chapter: I know there have been a few looking forward to this and I can't be bothered to be cryptic – Jack and Jacob talk about Sam and intentions and all that stuff! lol**


	11. Driven

**Authors Notes**

**- I was slightly dismayed to find a not so nice review in my inbox last time I checked which made me slightly frustrated. Because of this I feel I must confirm – I am not a character basher and I hope those who do read don't think so. I know things are hard for Sam and Jack right now but it is a process. I am writing angst so it is not going to be all rainbows and bunnies. I have promised to give you a happy ending and although one detail has changed from that ending I offer no less joy in the last few chapters. I feel I must also tell you I do not plan to pile angst upon angst - Sam will NOT loose the baby and although problems need to be addressed in their relationship things will spark between Sam and Jack, just give me time. Anyway, I ask you? How is Jack meant to rescue Sam if I don't stick her in a situation in the first place? **

**- On a brighter note I would like to thank**

** Skewrels**

**Caroline O'Neill**

**Sokkora Lewis (who e-mails me if her computer won't let her post!)**

** TrinityStargazer3**

**All of whom have been with me through this fic, your support has really kept me motivated – Thank you. There are alos of course many others who have reviewed through this fic but If I list them all then you wouldn't ever get onto that chapter!**

**- Have you noticed how many J's I have to type each chapter? My J and shift buttons are becoming increasingly harder to type with! I must be wearing them out! (Sorry, just a little bit more random-ness there!)**

Chapter 11: Driven

'Have you seen Major Carter?' Jack picked through the huddles of Tok'ra asking each if they had seen Sam, he could not find Jacob and was almost on the brink of marching down to the council room to get his query heard when a voice stood out from the No's and Sorry's he had been receiving

'I saw her about ten minutes ago; she was heading towards Dr Jackson's quarters,' A young female Tok'ra lay her large hazel eyes in Jack's direction, her voice was barely audible but to Jack any mention of Sam was picked up like a lone dot on a radar, his mind strayed for just a second, admiring the good looks of this woman and wondering why she had decided to share her petit appearance - blend herself with a Tok'ra symbiote.

Thoughts back on track he thanked her and headed in the direction she gestured towards Daniel's room – if it was any worse than his Daniel probably would be better off sleeping in the counsel chamber – his worry for Sam driving him to his destination with little time lost.

As it turned out Daniel was not the only occupant of the poorly decorated crystalline chamber, Jacob was deep in conversation, or more accurately interrogation with Daniel when Jack entered

'Jack!' Daniel stood, clearly glad to break away from Jacob's line of questioning -unfortunately his relief was short lived

'One of the Tok'ra guys told me that Sam had been heading here about ten minutes ago?' His eyes pressed into Daniel for answers, despite the look only being aimed at Daniel it was not he who was next to speak

'Sa'brea told me the same thing; she said that this was where I could find Sam. Unfortunately though neither Daniel nor anyone else I have encountered has seen Sam for quite a length of time, it seems I was the last to see her before-' Jacob reached for Jack's attention and knew he had got it as Jack threw a harsh interruption into a so far calm conversation

'Before what? She disappeared? Where could they have managed to get her down here? The halls are flooded with you guys… and who the hell could have taken her?' The last question was rhetorical; he already knew the answer but did not want to consider that possibility, Daniel obviously did not catch Jack's drift

'Nirrti,' Once again the name that made his blood run cold slipped from the lips of one of his team, one of only three people in a world of billions that he truly cared about, Teal'c and Daniel as friends and Sam as so much more, was it merely coincidence that Sam was taken first? Was she the only one that would be taken? Was Nirrti trying to get to him or did she already have her prize? It seemed part of him had hoped that if they hadn't thought it, if her name hadn't slithered into the conversation it wouldn't be her, it would be a misunderstanding, Sam would be back in his arms within a few beats of a longing heart.

'That woman just doesn't know when to quit,' the emotions behind this statement were unclear but Daniel knew these words signified either a rapidly deteriorating mood or a rising temper – neither of which he wished to be present for

'I'll get Teal'c, we can do a sweep of the base, see if Sam is simply hiding somewhere…or something,'

He paused a moment waiting for Jack's reaction, after a general hand gesture he figured it was safe to leave.

'Sam shouted at me and stormed out, it looks like I was the last to see her,' Jacob's brow creased, a deep sigh not lessening the tension in the room, with such a stressed silence it was not long before accusation turned on Jack 'This is your fault! If you hadn't got to her, if you hadn't gotten her pregnant this wouldn't be happening! What is she going to do if Nirrti has her? She is probably under some delusion that you will come rushing in to save her! Why did you do this?' Jack did not take lightly to being shouted at

'Do what? Fall in love with her? How could I not? She has the most beautiful heart of anyone I have ever known! How could you talk about it as if I took advantage of her? I didn't set up some scheme to get her pregnant it just happened; you can't say that with two kids you didn't get caught in the moment and forget about…what you are supposed to do before hand?' The last part came out rather awkwardly but did not damage the point he had made, by the silence he gained from Jacob in response the man was obviously no saint. Jacob ran through so many thoughts he could have gained a head rush, there had been suspicions but it seemed Jack really did love Sam, he was unsure how he felt about that, could it cause problems in the long run? Would it last? Jack had obviously sensed his train of thought

'Jacob, I promise you I love Sam more than anyone in the world, this baby may be unintentional but I love it the same way. From the moment I saw Sam she was my world and I can swear on my life that that will never change. I don't think _either_ of us should be alone anymore,' the last comment struck Jacob hard, for a long time Sam had been left all alone, Mark although sharing a protective brotherly bond with her had always ultimately been concerned with different things. Since their mother had died Jacob had buried himself in his work, hiding from reality and leaving his life behind almost like it was a nightmare, an inconvenience that he returned to every night, it wasn't real to him, it couldn't be, his wife couldn't be dead, his children couldn't be grieving, life just couldn't carry on with her gone. With a pang of guilt he remembered one night a few months after Sam's mother had died, he had come home late, Mark had already gone to bed, everything was dark and quiet apart from one little whimper, he remembered so clearly how he had gone to investigate and seen Sam lying in bed, face in pillow to muffle the sobs that wracked her body, Jacob had opened his mouth to speak out but thought against it, he did not know how to deal with his grieving little girl so had decided not even to lend a hand of comfort, he had passed the room, readied himself for bed, finding every distraction from the muffled sobs that haunted him from the room down the hall…he hung his head disgusted that he could have gained even a wink of sleep that night. He wasn't going to let his little girl down anymore.

'How does Sam feel about this?' he asked, eyes boring into Jack's, he could see his brain working, one lie and Jack's eyes would tell

'At first she ran away, she didn't want us to be together because of a long list of might's and maybes. When she found out she was pregnant she _said_ she wanted an abortion but Frasier talked to her and she realized that she only saw an abortion as a scapegoat. As for how she feels about me, I could not guarantee anything to you, I am not going to talk myself up to anyone, I don't know if she loves me…I think at the moment she isn't sure what to feel…too much in a short space of time…that is all I need to give her – time. I will wait; her love is worth waiting a lifetime for.' Jacob was taken aback with how romantic Jack could be, when looking on with common sense in mind, one could think his romantic personality was enough to sweep any woman off of her feet, on the more emotional side maybe "I love you" just wasn't enough for him; maybe he wasn't as simplistic as he liked people to think, for the moment Jacob's mind rested on the latter, Jack could be annoying to be sure but he was in no way a womanizer.

Jacobs stare softened against Jack's defiant gaze, he had persuaded him, unless Sam said otherwise he and Selmak held faith in Jack O'Neill's honesty.

'What are your intentions when we get her back?' This time Jacob's question was light mannered and light spirited, he looked at Jack, a determined glint in his eye – things were going to work out, Jack gave a friendly smile which was promptly returned

'When we get her back… I-' Jack's sentence was cut short by the arrival of Teal'c and Daniel

'Major Carter is not anywhere O'Neill, I do believe that Nirrti has her hostage,' Teal'c's hand held his staff weapon close, ever since their arrival on the planet he had not relinquished his weapon for any reason other than Kelnoreem and even then he had it close, the suspected presence or Nirrti had kept him alert and now she had a close friend of his as her captive no Tok'ra or Ta'ri would prevent him from his "Jaffa Revenge Thing" as O'Neill had so often phrased it, Nirrti would not survive an encounter with the so-called Sho'fah.

'We searched the whole base with the assistance of a couple of Tok'ra but she is nowhere, there are devices monitoring the gate and it hasn't been activated so we can assume Sam is somewhere on the planet,' Daniel's exhaustion was apparent only by his slightly wary form, his determination had never been stronger

'It's a big planet,' Jack remarked, his state-the-obvious attitude only a mask to cover the fear that laced his thoughts – what if they didn't get there in time?

'Are you okay Jack?' Daniel placed his hand on Jack's shoulder hoping it would offer some kind of comfort, Jack knew his silence in response to this question was an unwise move only a moment before Jacob went to speak

'He is probably just worried for Sam and the baby,'

'I am sorry Jacob; did you just make reference to a baby?' Teal'c showed more expression than anyone had thought the Jaffa was capable of and all color drained from Jack's face, he threw Jacob a look, willing him to be silent but Jacob either remained oblivious to his motions or did not pay any notice to them, the truth slipped out before Jack could stop it

'Yes, didn't Jack tell you? Sam's pregnant.'

**That really wasn't a very good chapter! Please forgive me for this lapse! Jacob and Jack talking was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be…I'm starting to think I should have skipped the whole thing or had a group of dancing bananas come in just as they were about to start talking…probably would have been much easier to write and a lot more entertaining! Lol**

**Next Chapter: Daniel is pissed off but what threatens to become a fight somehow dulls into Jack's desperation. **


	12. Secrets Among Friends

**Authors Notes**

**-You have no idea how sorry I am it has taken me so long to update! I had a little case of writers block for a while – this is the most difficult chapter I have ever had to write for any fic I have ever done! Sounds a little dramatic but it just didn't seem right; even now I don't think it flows properly:-s**

**- I have to thank 7 League Boots for a wonderful PM that made me smile after the not so nice review I got for chapter 10. Thanx!**

**- I also want to thank Dragonland for reading and reviewing 3 times! Sorry it wasn't finished but from now on I shall be a quick updater! (atleast until the end of my summer hols, after that I will work as fast as possible but I go into my last year so lots of school work to do too!)**

**-You might notice some of this is similar to parts of the episode Abyss – it is one of my fav eppies and I have also used a little bit of it for the sequel – obviously totally AU tho, I like taking bits of episodes, mucking about with them abit and then sticking 'em in my fics!**

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Chapter 12: Secrets among friends

'You son of a bitch,' Daniel turned on Jack, his harsh words catching the colonel by surprise 'Why didn't you tell us? Sam's life is in danger and you seem more concerned with hiding things from us than wanting to help her, has it not occurred to you why Nirrti took Sam and not one of us?' he resisted the urge to hit Jack, settling on a threatening but firm glare, just as he could predict, Jack did not back down at this comment or mumble pathetic sorrys, he retaliated with just as much anger as was on Daniel's part

'Don't you _dare _say I don't want to help Sam, I love her and the baby more than this or any other _world_!I would die for them-' Jacob stopped Jack mid-rant

'Nirrti doesn't want Sam…she wants the baby,' grave faces stared at each other as the room was plunged into a scared silence, everyone could see Jack was suffering most, Daniel knew it would destroy him to loose Sam or another child, especially to his sworn enemies, after Charlie had died he had gone on the Abydos mission because he believed it would be suicide, he could not go to that place again, for one thing Daniel did not fancy talking him off a cliff or anything high which lead to a large drop…

'We have to save her,' Jack looked at each face, they seemed determined yet none of them had moved 'NOW!'

'Jack, what do you propose we do? Rush up top and look around to see if Nirrti just happens to be sitting in plain view with Sam? We have established that she isn't anywhere in the Tok'ra base, Tok'ra sensors have obviously not picked up any movement on the planet, neither have the look out ships we have up, otherwise we would have been alerted. She could be anywhere below the surface of the planet.' Jacob crushed Jack's plan for improvisation. For a moment it looked like Jack was going to hit Jacob but revised the idea when considering he could be his father-in-law if they could help Sam escape and if things went somewhere from there.

'Jack, we know you want to be the hero in this situation-' Daniel ignored Jack's scowl 'but it isn't a case of rushing in, being an idiot and getting yourself or Sam killed. You are going to have to get used to the fact that this is going to take time,'

'Daniel, the way you go about it, it could take the rest of our _lives_!' Jack retaliated; Teal'c intervened to stop "battle of the egos"

'I agree with Daniel Jackson, we can not rush in but I also agree that we must not dawdle either. Nirrti has become vigilant since her expulsion from the ranks of the System Lords, she is not going to leave a trail for us to follow… if she did I would hastily consider it to be a trap. Major Carter is in danger and it seems all you can do is throw insults at each other,' He cast a look to Jacob which the Tok'ra returned 'I think it would be prudent for you to settle your differences before aiding us in finding Major Carter…' Teal'c paused, allowing Jacob to finish the sentence

'Teal'c and I will go, configure the sensors, check the readings more closely and correspond with the air patrol. Meanwhile you two can discuss exactly what your problems are,' without another word Jacob went to leave, followed closely by Teal'c, Daniel and Jack opened their mouths to object but one look from Teal'c instantly silenced them. Both watched as Jacob pulled out a crystal, plunged it into the doorway and more crystals expanded from this to seal them inside the chamber

'We shall return soon,' Teal'c voice came muffled through the crystalline door

'Okay then, we'll be…well we'll be here since there really aren't many other places we can go,' Jack commented, he heard a titter from outside the chamber and a sigh from inside as Daniel rolled his eyes, Jack waited until the footsteps had faded before spinning around to address no one in particular

'This is _exactly_ why I don't trust Tok'ra,' he pitched his voice higher 'Oh We're the Tok'ra, we don't have any use for doors, we have nothing to hide" How many other people do you reckon they have locked up down here? Skeletons in their crystal closets…'

'Jack what is your problem?' Daniel knew if he built up to any kind of serious conversation it would be a matter of sarcasm and jokes for the stand up comedian who just kept on avoiding the truth

'Well, Daniel, I'm not sure coz I'm no shrink but I think it could be something to do with the fact that the mother of my child is in the hands of some renegade Goa'ould bitch and while I should be trying to help her I am trapped in a big crystal chamber with the biggest pain in the ass on my team. At least Teal'c doesn't talk like he is trying to psyche 101 me.' Jack started to pace, venting his anger but still aware of the fact Daniel's eyes never strayed from the path he wore into the floor

'Yes Jack, I know that much…well most of it, but I don't know how you actually feel about the situation other than being extremely pissed,'

'Oh, God help me if you start talking like Frasier, she is all about the "what exactly do you _feel_ towards Sam" thing, no one seems to be happy with a simple "I love her" anymore'

'I am not talking like Janet,' Daniel snapped indignantly, straying from the topic and allowing Jack to succeed it diverting the focus – something he was too good at. Realizing this and pinning it as a distraction Daniel shook himself mentally and moved on 'Okay, lets just take this slowly – step by step,'

'Step by Step,' Jack repeated, dubious about whatever Daniel was going to throw at him now, the man had a good track record, he had breached Jack's tough exterior before to reach a cookie dough center, of course it was a major disadvantage that Daniel knew his weak points and along with getting him cooking could also hit him where it hurt and allow reflex action to tell him what he wanted to know

'What do you feel about Nirrti?' Obvious question…this felt a lot like a psyche evaluation, what the hell was the right answer? There probably wasn't even a right answer.

'Oh c'mon Daniel! You know what I think about Nirrti…' it was Jack's turn to roll his eyes but Daniel still held the sigh

'Jack if you can't just get over yourself and sort out your problem you won't be able to save Sam.'

'I don't have a problem,' Jack insisted turning away from the fuming archeologist, neither were quite sure where the conversation was going until it hit them

'Jack you are killing her! You are killing the woman you love! You can not think rationally, you are going to step in too soon and it will be her blood that covers your hands. You lost Charlie and the way you are going you are going to loose this baby too, when that time comes, when you have been too stupid to ask for help and you find yourself back up on that ledge I am not going to talk you down. I am not just talking about loosing your life Jack, no. I am talking long before that, the path you are forcing yourself down, the guilt that keeps nagging at you, the sarcasm you hide behind… it will cost you your _soul_. If you can't break out of this, what we have all seen happening you will kill everyone you ever cared about! You are a better man than that Jack,'

'That's where you're wrong!' Jack span around, tears that could no longer be contained spilled from the eyes that aimed daggers into Daniel, those words, they hurt more than any weapon he had ever been hit with, his heart bled, his soul burned, no he wasn't a better man than that, he was the idiot that had offered his little boy his murder weapon, he was the self centered son of a bitch who nearly destroyed Abydos and Earth when he could have just let himself freefall from a cliff and now he was making the same mistakes, costing more lives…even saving the world could not offer him redemption for what he had done.

'No I'm not…I may be a lot of things but I am not wrong about this Jack, you can save her but you have to let go of the crap that has been clouding your intentions. You have to make tough calls, you have to lower yourself to the worst of men when you choose who lives and who dies but at the end of the day you are not a callous man. You don't seem to realize you are already on a path of redemption, Sam, this second chance, they can't change what has happened or what you have done but they can give you what you have always deserved,' Daniel's voice had become progressively hushed but Jack did not miss a syllable, now he remembered why – why he trusted Daniel Jackson more than words, why there was always a way out, why it was Sam that could truly save his soul and why he couldn't spend a second longer in this damn cell…

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**I hope that was at least satisfactory, I had a little trouble with the end bit so sorry if it's a little cheesy. I could probably sit here for a while saying what was wrong with the chapter but I'll just focus on the good stuff – Teal'c actually played a decent part in this chapter! Lol.**

**Next Chapter: Sam still has problems that get heightened when Nirrti foils her escape plan with a few nasty threats.**


	13. Two Months More

**Author's Notes**

**- I just want to warn you that this will be the most violent chapter in the fic. This chapter also did not go to plan so if I get a little muddled from here then its coz I have had to change my story plan slightly.**

**- I also ask for your forgiveness when it comes to spelling in Goa'ould. I have no idea what I am doing! Or if I am using the right words for that matter so I would appreciate a little leeway there.**

**- Thank you everyone who has reviewed over the fic so far, you have no idea how grateful I am that you have kept on reading or that I have so many reviews! I am so pleased! You check the rest of my fics you will find I am not a big hit with the reviewers, I am glad I have written a storyline that people really want to read!**

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Chapter 13: Two Months More

Another night crept upon them and as most of the artificial lighting died the glow which remained from the few lamps that saw it through the dark hours cast the lab into an eerie mid-state, allowing shadows to play with the mind. Sam wished for darkness, in light she saw her worst nightmares become reality and in this state she could hear the laughing of the darkened figures that never ceased to catch her eye, her hand touched her cheek where she could feel the stains of days past tears while her other hand lay with her only company, her only comfort, he was there with her if it was.

Sam could only estimate how long she had been forced to endure a painful cycle of torture, tears and being trapped between these three walls, she had felt it grow though and now placed it as two months with not even a sight of rescue. She rocked back and forth, back and forth tending to a gash in her arm; she was covered in cuts and bruises, all remnants of Nirrti's desire for information, the Goa'ould had been becoming more frustrated as time passed and she learned nothing, even as she devised new ways to inflict pain without harming her precious future host Sam had held her silence, she had three options, she could be rescued which seemed unlikely as she knew that _she_ did not know her location let alone the Tok'ra, she could stop the pain by telling Nirrti all she knew but still face imminent death or she could continue with her current regime, hold her silence, embrace the pain and die knowing she was not a traitor to the people of her planet. She had opted for the latter and had no intention of changing her mind; even if she could not be saved she would ensure Jack had a shot at saving their child.

The gash refused to stop bleeding and blood stained her t-shirt as she used it as a last resort to stem the flow, Nirrti had allowed her scraps of material to clean and bandage her wounds, Sam had even been in the sarcophagus once when Nirrti had gotten too carried away and believed the baby's life to be in danger. Unfortunately that was as far as the sympathy went.

Sam curled up in a corner, shrinking into the shadows herself and not allowing the ones that teased her as they danced over the instruments she held anything but fond memories of to get to her, to scare her into another night of horrible flashes and nightmares of varying intensities.

Tonight it seemed she had only blinked before the morning had broken and she woke to see two familiar faces standing at the forcefeild of her cell – Nirrti's Jaffa. It seemed there were only two that resided here with her and now after many encounters with them she knew them by name and by personality; The taller of the two – Ni'tac was harsh, he looked upon her with only cold eyes and a deep hatred for everything she was, every time he came close to Sam his grip on his staff weapon would tighten as if he longed for the day he would be able to turn it on Nirrti's Ta'ri captive, as it was he would use any opportunity to cause her pain; the only time he would disobey Nirrti's orders would be to throw Sam into her cell or to give her a sharp jab with the end of his staff weapon. The second – Jai'ac was much more sympathetic and when not in the company of Nirrti was almost the opposite to his fellow Jaffa, he was the one who was ordered to give Sam bandages or food and it seemed each time she would receive more than Nirrti had ordered for him to give. He would still yank her frail form upwards to be taken Nirrti or shout at her and force her to her knees when she refused to bow to his master but when Ni'tac threw her back into her cell and her eyes locked onto Jai'ac's for just a moment his gaze was apologetic – Sam actually had her suspicions about where his real loyalties lay.

This morning her mind was elsewhere and she did not look at either of their faces as they hauled her off of the floor and took her to the main chamber of the lab, just as was the story every day Nirrti stood gathering more instruments to test on Sam, she tried not to focus on the table that lay ahead of her – it was very much similar to an autopsy gurney and being strapped to it everyday, a bright light shining down on her with Nirrti standing over her just itching to try out today's sharp objects was just a reminder of how close to death she was and had given her a horrible desperation and longing for her fate – death was preferable to this.

There was just one weakness, deliberate on Jai'ac's part she did not know, the Jaffa dragged her struggling form towards the gurney, she knew she could not win over two well nourished men but that never stopped her trying, just as she was about to be strapped to the cold metal Jai'ac tripped and one of her arms came free. Barely thinking she swung it around to hit Ni'tac in the nose, he also stumbled, his hands rushing to his face to stop the instantaneous flow of blood from his nostrils

'Jaffa!' Nirrti hissed as Sam ran at her, there was a struggle in which Sam punched every part of the foul serpent woman she could reach, she could swear she even heard a titter from Jai'ac…on reflection Sam's frail form which she could imagine currently looked similar to that of a stray dog and cheap overdressed fake God rolling around hitting each other probably was an amusing sight

'Jaffa!' Nirrti yelled again, this time Jai'ac heeded her call and dragged Sam away from his "God" Sam tried to break free of his grip but had little success this time, it seemed Ni'tac was taller but Jai'ac was much stronger, she felt his body crouch next to hers but it was a moment before she realized he had whispered in her ear

'Stay calm Samantha Carter, I can help you' once Nirrti had, rather ungracefully, taken to her feet again Jai'ac stood and threw Sam at her feet

'Ta'ri Sho'fah,' he spat 'Bow to your God,' Sam would have protested but currently her knees where in no position to help her to her feet without assistance so she lay sprawled across the floor "bowing to her God"

'To you feet Samantha Carter,' Nirrti ordered once she seemed satisfied that Sam had caved and now believed her to be a God, either that or had resolved to treat her like one…either way it would set an example to her Jaffa.

Sam attempted to stand and even though she looked at Jai'ac in the hopes he would help her it was Ni'tac who yanked her up onto shaky legs, she backed into the gurney as Nirrti advanced towards her. When Sam looked back and saw she could not escape Nirrti's anger she stood to confront it, this could only touch the tip of the iceberg compared to two months of nearly solid pain, if you can not escape you stand and fight, what other option is there?

'You think this child is a bargaining chip, don't you Major Carter?' Nirrti's voice seemed amused, even playful which made Sam fear she had dragged the last person she wanted to include, into her battle, she stood in silence, only offering a defiant stare as an answer

'You think it will prolong your life and give O'Neill a chance to rescue you…' Sam could not help but flinch as Nirrti placed her cold hand so softly on her stomach, she did however manage to retain a sob as she remembered how Jack had done the same, was he going to come or was he going to leave them to die?

'If you ever repeat an incident like this again you shall pay gravely for your impudence,' the sob did escape as Nirrti's grip tautened and her nails dug into Sam's flesh 'I can kill you both where you stand…and don't think that I won't' releasing her grip on Sam's stomach she took her revenge by grabbing a particularly sharp instrument on the table next to the gurney and plunging it into Sam's shoulder. Sam yelled with the sudden pain and collapsed, gentle sobs wracking her body as she clutched the instrument which protruded from the flesh beneath her shoulder blade.

'Take her to the Sarcophagus,' Nirrti ordered her Jaffa who instantly stepped forward for the task

'I shall take her Great Nirrti. I fear Ni'tac may take it into his hands to finish what you have started, I will inflict nothing upon the captive unless you wish it,' Jai'ac stepped in, his eyes not venturing to the blood soaked heap which sobbed by the torture table

'Very well,' she threw Ni'tac a suspicious look as Jai'ac picked Sam' limp frame from the floor and carried her towards the arch that lead to the darkened sarcophagus room. Nirrti stopped Jai'ac just as he was about to exit the lab to throw one last malicious comment towards Sam

'They are not coming Major Carter, they gave up hope long ago for your survival. I returned to the surface just as O'Neill, Dr Jackson and the Sho'fah Teal'c left through the cha'pa eye. It looks like this time I am victorious over the people of the Ta'ri'

Pain was not the only thing that fuelled Sam's whimpers as Jai'ac placed her gently in the sarcophagus, she was alone, Jack had left her to die, no one was coming.

'Rest now Major Carter and please do not give up hope yet,' her eyes flashed upwards to meet Jai'ac's, he smiled at her, it was a smile that reminded her of another she knew, it was the kind of smile that could get you through the deepest shit you were in and still make you believe there was a tomorrow. Jai'ac was a free Jaffa…there was still hope yet.

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**So Sam has a lifeline…what will happen next? I am actually not entirely sure because I never planned to put in Ni'tac and Jai'ac; they are there though so this could be fun! I also quite like Jai'ac so he might continue to pop in now and then – and he is mine! My own character! Woot! Lol! XD**

**Next Chapter: You would think Nirrti wasn't stupid enough to get herself caught again but maybe it is a rule with the Goa'ould they just don't have brains…gives a window for Sam and Jai'ac though - if they can deal with Ni'tac… **


	14. Just a Chance

**Authors Notes**

**- I have noticed the reviews are thinning, are people still reading and just not reviewing or am I getting boring?**

**- I am putting up 2 chapters this time around because they are related – the same thing happening from 2 POVs **

**-You know I have hardly been out this summer? I haven't done much homework either coz I am enjoying just writing this and making fanart so much. I have a swimming pool and its gone green now coz no1 has been in it (ergh for me, I have to clean it out!) have to blame damn English weather for that though aswell, while we were at skool the weather was the gorgeous "I wanna go in the pool" kinda weather, most of the way through summer its been groggy and cold (grrr!)**

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Chapter 14: Just a Chance

'You said you had something,' Jack stepped out of the event horizon to meet Jacob, not bothering to turn and see the other two follow him

'Yes, the ploy worked, Nirrti did believe you had given up hopes of Sam's survival,' Jacob looked happier than he had in weeks. They had gained one lead since Sam's capture – Teal'c had been summoned to the rebel camp where he had been told of a free Jaffa who was pretending to be in Nirrti's service so they could keep tabs on her, this had allowed a smile on Jack and Jacob's part for a total of about three seconds before they were told the Jaffa Jai'ac had not been heard from for weeks and they feared he may be lost to them…still, it had been a shot. They had been trying to make some kind of contact with this Jaffa but there had been no response, another dead end. Fortunately Daniel had thought of something and although it pained Jack to leave without Sam he had been convinced this was their only option and had reluctantly returned to earth.

The party ringed into the base and were lead along many corridors before they came to what Jack assumed to be the Tok'ra brig – basically empty chambers which used forcefeilds to confine their prisoners, Jack personally liked good old bars, they didn't need a power generator to keep them going, there was always the risk of attack at any military complex and with that came the risk of all of their captives being released into the base.

'O'Neill,' familiar eyes lay their scrutiny on him as the group came to stand in front of a cell enforced by two Tok'ra guards

'What have you done with Sam?' Jack's eyes did not falter as he returned a look of stone to the Goa'ould that sat bound to a chair before him, if it had not been for the force field he would be using a much more physical approach to questioning

'Samantha Carter and the spawn she carries are precious to you O'Neill. Did you believe I was simply going to tell you her location?' Nirrti's voice grated against an already throbbing headache, he did not need this…he needed Sam.

'Jack,' Jacob's voice came as a warning behind him

'Bring down the forcefield,' Jack barked over Jacob's caution, his voice raising when the guards did not make a response to even hearing him let alone doing what he had ordered 'Do it! Now!'

There was a long pause in which each person stood frozen, deep seated hate deriving from the two figures that stood either side of the forcefield, total opposites in every way. After many moments had passed Jacob inclined his head and the barrier was terminated.

Jack did not restrain himself as he rushed at Nirrti knocking the chair and her with it to the ground; he pulled his pistol from its holster and aimed it directly at the false God's head

'Tell me or you won't live to see another minute,' to his great dismay Nirrti's reply seemed unthreatened, even arrogant

'It seems to be a habit for the Ta'ri to point weapons at my head, was there something you actually wish to achieve by this?'

'Jack!' Daniel came up behind Jack and attempted to pull him away, Nirrti might not think Jack was serious but everyone else knew he was, there were a few whispers behind them as another Tok'ra approached Jacob

'Jack, you don't need to do that we have another lead, or a lead rekindled atleast – it seems Jai'ac is alive. We sent out a message on several frequencies that we had captured Nirrti in the hopes he might pick it up, he did and responded,'

Daniel who had been trying to pull Jack away from Nirrti fell on his ass as Jack stood suddenly, fortunately everyone was too concerned with the new information to laugh at him and he was able to stand and take a place next to Jack with minimal embarrassment, Nirrti was in the worse position, she was still bound to the chair which was still back on the floor and legs in the air – not a particularly graceful position for a so-called God

'What did he say? How are Sam and the baby?' Jack pressed for the message, he needed to know where she was, and she needed to know he had not abandoned her. Jacob's face turned from half smile to a serious glare as he relayed the message

'Jai'ac said that they are alive but Sam is in pretty bad shape, Nirrti has been torturing her for information everyday since she was captured and having been in the sarcophagus twice her body is still quite weak and her emotional state even weaker, Nirrti told her that you had left her behind and now the only thing that has her hanging on is the hopes that Jai'ac can find some way for the two of them to get past Nirrti and her other Jaffa Ni'tac. Us eliminating Nirrti from that list makes things simpler but he still has to get past the other Jaffa,'

Jack wrung his hands wishing Daniel would give him his gun back – he had a score to settle with Nirrti – two months of solid pain that maybe a few bullets could resolve…trying to lay his focus elsewhere until he had repossessed his weapon he continued questioning Jacob

'Where are they?'

'Jai'ac says he does not know, apparently he was up on the surface mapping weather conditions when one of the instruments picked up the signal and he was able to reply but Nirrti has many fail-safes which prevent anyone but her from being able to map the location precisely. We have been able to predict a 100 mile radius but we aren't looking for a lab here – the lab is underground – we are looking for a single entrance with a lot of ground to cover. Jai'ac says he is going to attempt an escape with Sam tonight. He said he will try and sense the Naquada in the gate to try and get as close to our position as possible but we will need a team out there to find them – their supplies will be limited they will only be able to walk so far.'

It wasn't long before SG-1, Jacob and a couple other Tok'ra were geared up and ringed back up to the surface, the heat was intense as it was still early in the afternoon but they needed to cover as much ground as possible so Sam and Jai'ac wouldn't have to. It was still several hours until the escape attempt was going to be launched. Jack tried hard not to be relieved and to still hold the possibility that Sam might not get away; he did not want to feel such disappointment as he had the first time their lead had been extinguished despite this he had a gut feeling that this was going to work, the risk was much lower than many of the escapes SG1 had pulled and Sam wasn't alone, she had her own version of Teal'c to back her up.

The hours rolled over slowly and the group did not stop even as the sun was setting, they were deep into the 100 mile radius and Jacob had suggested they aim for the middle of it so they could perhaps split up in several directions. This was unnecessary though as staff weapon fire marked their destination, there was shouting and weapons fire being exchanged that soon dulled into the sound of hand on hand combat, the resonance of a familiar yell set Jack running and not even Teal'c could match his speed. The noise had been distant but it seemed both Sam and Jai'ac were in trouble from this other Jaffa and where in dire need of assistance.

When they arrived on the scene however the noise had dulled and a peculiar and slightly horrible sight lay before them – Ni'tac lay dead, a knife embedded deep into his chest, a few meters from the Jaffa's body Jai'ac tended to Sam who lay unconscious in the sand, Emerald eyes locked onto Jack's brown ones even through the darkness

'Hurry O'Neill,' Jai'ac lifted Sam into his arms, to most he would appear strong but Sam's form was injuriously light 'She is weak, if she does not receive attention soon she and the life she carries may not survive,'

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**Okay, I know that was rushed but I needed to highlight events that were hours apart, the next chapter shouldn't be so rushed. **

**Next Chapter: Same events but from Sam's POV, how did Ni'tac respond to his God not really being a God? How did the escape pan out? Why did Sam fall unconscious? Read on and you shall see! **


	15. Point of View

**Authors Notes**

**-Hello again if you didn't give up after last chapter! I think I have done more weird and wacky things with this fic than I have done with any other fic I have written, this being one of them – the whole same chapter different POV thing…fingers crossed I pulled it off!**

**-I really do like Jai'ac now, I am glad I put him in there, for the sequel I have a plan for a Christmas party which includes him, a couple of other Jaffa we know and some azguard :oS a recipe for either disaster or humor I'm guessing**

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Chapter 15: Point of View

Sam did not want to open her eyes as the sarcophagus opened and the light dulled, it may have neutralized the pain and healed the wound but she still felt weak and her will to keep on like this was slowly depleting. Thankfully it was Jai'ac who came to her aid; she could not deal with the shouting and spraying of saliva from Ni'tac right now

'Samantha Carter, are you well?' Jai'ac asked his voice warm and caring; it had been long since anyone had given a damn about her. This question was not answered by words, more by the way she collapsed when Jai'ac helped her to her feet – much like someone stepping on a polystyrene cup

'I can't do this anymore Jai'ac, please just finish it,' she mumbled as he supported her and they started a steady limp back to her cell

'That would be unwise Samantha Carter, if I killed you, you would not be able to join me in an escape tonight,' He once again flashed a smile as unfocused Sapphires gazed at him confused and questioning 'I made contact with your father, they have captured Nirrti. I was considering a plan of escape for a while but things have become easier as I now only have Ni'tac to defeat,'

'Jack?' she asked, if she had been in any fit state she would have celebrated a chance to getaway from this horrible scene which her eyes had fallen upon much too often, this lab, this everything was soon to be a memory, only to haunt her in the worst of nightmares

'Have faith in love Samantha Carter, he would journey to Keb and back for you,'

'You do know we have been their right?' Sam attempted a smile, of course for SG1 Keb hadn't been such a challenge but she could get the symbolism, Jai'ac looked mildly impressed before laying Sam in her cell, she felt weaker than she ever had before, needing to be carried from place to place and tended to like a child. She hated it, she had always been a strong person physically and emotionally and now she crumpled as easy as a piece of paper.

'I shall return for you as soon as the lights become dim Samantha Carter,' Jai'ac retreated from the small space and punched in the code to bring the forcefeild back up

'Jai'ac,' Sam called, Jai'ac turned back around to face her 'You can call me Sam you know,' Jai'ac laughed sheepishly and inspired something similar to a titter from Sam aswell

'Very well, I shall return for you soon…Sam,'

Many hours passed and after a short nap Sam had built up just enough strength to pull herself to sitting position, she was glad it was a Jaffa who was aiding her in escape and that it was Jai'ac not Ni'tac because she wasn't going to get very far on her own and Jai'ac had already proved himself to be the stronger of Nirrti's slaves.

Before she was anywhere near ready the lights dimmed and the forcefeild glowed and dissipated, it was not even a minute before Jai'ac appeared at her cell and hauled her to her feet

'That should keep Ni'tac occupied for now, we must hurry,' Jai'ac peered around the wall of the cell just incase before advancing into the lab

'What did you do?' Sam asked as they dashed towards a wall, from this action Sam could tell either Jai'ac was deluded or the wall was holographic, fortunately the second was correct

'I sabotaged the power generator, when Ni'tac goes to fix it he should be hit with a powerful burst of radiation; hopefully it will be instantly fatal,' the passageway was dark, small and continuous, every time they turned a corner there was another stretch ahead of them, before Sam could ask, Jai'ac spoke

'Nirrti made the passageway out of here long and change directions many times so Ni'tac and I were unable to pinpoint the location of the lab from the position we emerge on the surface,'

Finally the pair crawled out onto the cooling sand, the night was beautiful; two moons hung next to each other like glowing pearls, framed by the stars that dotted the indigo sky, she would have requested they rest here for her to take in the cool night air if it had not been for the fact that they had a insane false God obsessed Jaffa that could be on their tail and if this planet was similar to the deserts on earth the temperature would decrease rapidly in a short space of time.

The lopsided silhouette trudged on only pausing for Jai'ac to sense the Stargate if he lost his bearings, Sam was just starting to feel relief when an unexpected staff blast threw sand over their heads, both figures span around as Ni'tac shouted into the night

'Sho'fa!' he fired another blast which came close to hitting Jai'ac 'How dare you defy your God!'

'She is not a real God Ni'tac she is a worthless snake controlling a human host. Come with us now brother and we can be freed of such lies,' Jai'ac reached out to what he already knew to be a hopeless cause

'No Jai'ac, it is you who tells lies! You defy the great Nirrti! I shall have to destroy you to regain the carrier of her new host; she shall rule the galaxy and will purge her new empire of Sho'fah like you!' he pulled a zat'nic'tol from his belt and Jai'ac couldn't help but recoil as Sam was hit and the electrically charged blast sedated her and forced his arm away from catching her as she fell to the sand with a muffled yell.

Jai'ac had no choice but to leave Sam where she was and face Ni'tac, he reclaimed his staff weapon which he had dropped as the first blast was fired and span it around his wrist a few times ready to challenge the fellow Jaffa

'You wish to challenge me? You are naïve Jai'ac, poisoned by the Jaffa who dare to defy their Gods and join a battle they cannot win,' Ni'tac also spun his staff around his wrist before holding it in basic defensive position, ready for battle

'If I am to die, I shall die free, you are the Sho'fah, the traitor to our people - no Jaffa deserves to be enslaved,'

Jai'ac had enraged Ni'tac enough to force him to take first move, Jai'ac defended him self and swung the staff to take Ni'tac's feet from under him, Nit'ac flipped backward and regained his staff as he came once more to his feet, Jai'ac charged, the staffs clashed in a furious conflict, thud thud thud as each attack was foiled and a swish as Jai'ac jumped to avoid Ni'tac's staff as it passed by his feet, the combat continued for several minutes until a harsh attack left Jai'ac unarmed

'Why did the radiation not kill you?' Jai'ac asked from his position on the floor, Ni'tac's staff weapon pointed at his face

'I am not an idiot, I realized you had sabotaged the generator and instead of wasting my time trying to fix it and setting off your trap I pursued you and the woman instead,' Jai'ac nodded and stood to accept the blast as Ni'tac armed his staff weapon

'You will be an example to all Sho'fah Jaffa why they are fighting a battle they will never wi-' Ni'tac looked down slowly as pain branched in every direction from his chest, a knife was embedded there and blood leaked slowly from the wound, he could feel his heart slow and he looked into the eyes of the one who had murdered him. His vision clouded, he went to speak but could not quite manage it. His last breath was knocked from his body as he fell to the ground.

Jai'ac did not have time to look saddened for another Jaffa life needlessly wasted, Sam was still in need of his assistance, he rushed over to where she lay unconscious and checked her pulse, it was weak and her breaths were shallow, if help was coming it needed to be here soon.

As if the fates had heard him Jack O'Neill came running into sight followed by the other members of the Ta'ri team, Sam's father and who he presumed to be other Tok'ra, Jai'ac saw the selfless worry which etched O'Neill's face as he addressed him

'Hurry O'Neill,' Jai'ac lifted Sam into his arms, to most he would appear strong but Sam's form was injuriously light 'She is weak, if she does not receive attention soon she and the life she carries may not survive,'

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**Sam has been saved by Nirrti but she isn't out of the red zone yet! I am quite proud of myself, the last two chapters were total improvisation, the summaries for the previous two chapters on my plan were totally different! Lol**

**Next chapter: What has two months in Nirrti's clutches done to Sam? How does she feel about being a mother and saving the world, could she ever achieve a happy medium? **


	16. Promise of Home

**Authors Notes**

**-I apologize for not updating sooner, I was going to update yesterday but was down**

**- I am so panicked now! I have spent most of my hols writing Serendipity, I go back next Thursday and I havnt done half my homework! Well I did some art at 3:00 in the morning but I was supposed to do a lot more than I have done…**

**- There are 5 chapters left of this before the sequel so the baby is coming soon! I am actually quite excited about writing that chapter but still slightly nervous coz I don't want it to be really cliché or anything, I suppose the best I can do is give it my best shot**

**-at the end of the story I will be giving massive thanx to all regular reviewers and the many people who have supported me in the writing of this fic, it is my best piece of writing to date! **

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Chapter 16 – Promise of Home

To say it was a rough night would be an understatement. They said that using a healing device wouldn't have any effect, they said if she was going to pull out of this she would have to do it on her own, they said she needed time…He felt like screaming at her - Samantha Carter you say it so much one could think it as an excuse, time is precious, you need to take every moment, savor ever kiss because one day time will inevitably run out…then you will not be the only one who regrets the fact you took your time for granted. He held her hand, in a way wishing it could make those beautiful eyes open…if- no- when they did he would be the first thing she saw, the only thing she saw. Then he would kiss her and apologize for not being there, she would forgive him, tears in her eyes she would hold his hand back…it had happened many times but each time he found he had wandered into a twilight zone where no rest was gained but your own mind comforted you with honey sweet dreams and desires.

The hours dawdled and many passed in a state of delirium, perhaps something to do with the amount of coffee he had consumed over the past few days, it was his trutonin, a sharp jab whenever he was feeling the morning was just too much, like this morning, this morning everything was too much.

Sam had been unconscious so many times…this was the worst. Usually he would either be joining her for a guest spot in the infirmary or he had something to shoot at to take his mind off how serious the situation was. Now she was just clawing at his insides, eluding him for hours, making him suffer for what he had done, how he had left her behind…he never left a person behind, he had run into a battle situation with much less at stake but now… now he was finding it hard to find veracity in Daniel's words, now he could not see any propriety in his own code of honor, maybe he was right, he never left a man behind, but he did leave a woman…he left her.

'Jack?' The call came on the edge of hysteria as tearful eyes opened and her grip on his hand tightened

'I'm here,' he whispered, he reached forward and brushed a stray lock of hair from her face 'You know…I think this is becoming a habit,'

Far from the laugh he expected tears began to roll down her cheeks silently, Jack assisted her as she reached forward for a hug

'I was alone, all alone,' she sobbed 'Nirrti did horrible things, I thought I was going to die, I thought I would never see you again, I thought you had left me behind…' Jack did not know what to say to redeem himself so he just held her, he held her as anguish depleted her words into sobs and wracked her frail body, he held her as unspeakable horrors flooded back to her, he held her because there was nothing more he could do, nothing more than let her cry the pain away.

Eventually the sobs subdued and her body rested against Jack's. She could feel his heart beat steadily as he embraced her as if he held his world

'I'm so sorry,' he whispered, his tone begging for forgiveness as much as his words, she pulled away from their embrace to gaze into his eyes, she placed a finger on his lips as he tried to speak and as she drew it away she leant forward to kiss him…is there a way to describe a kiss? Words can only tell you half of the exchange, you can describe the way the tongues meet and dance across each other in sweeping moments that leave her lost in his embrace, you can describe how her hand rests on his cheek and he leans to her touch, you can describe for how that moment they forget the world…but that doesn't even begin to explain it.

Neither Sam nor Jack realized that Daniel, Janet and Jacob had already peered into the room and made a swift exit, they were still deep in each other's eyes as he promised never to leave her again.

Sam's body was still weak and Jack was forced to return her to lying position as her muscles began to ache; finding compromise he took off his boots and lay on the bed next to her – being a rather small bed she shuffled over to allow him room to lay on his side and prop his head up with his elbow. He caressed her arm gently with his finger as she confessed her worries

'I don't think I can do this anymore Jack,' her voice was hoarse from sobbing but Jack still thought it was soft and beautiful despite sounding slightly croaky

'Do what?' he asked as he nuzzled into her neck and planted soft kisses slowly up to her cheek, she giggled before responding more seriously

'I don't think I could keep going through the gate if I am going to get into situations like this, I don't want our baby to be left an orphan because we decide to walk into a trap…I don't even want to start on the amount of missions where strange things have happened or one of us has been on the brink of death,'

'Well don't ask Daniel in to list them, he won't shut up,' a joke masked serious thoughts, Sam had not been the only one to think of this, it had crossed his mind many times, especially since Sam had mentioned it in a previous argument about their relationship

'I love my job, I love working with SG1-' Sam paused thinking of how best to paraphrase Nirrti's little speech about the baby 'When I was first captured by Nirrti she told me about how the baby was the Hak'tar…she said that with your ancient genes and my experience with Jolinar the baby was going to be special, how can we manage a baby who could one day change the balance of the universe and _saving_ the universe at the same time?' Jack looked to her hand and linked his fingers with hers once more

'Wanna throw an easier one at me?' he smiled his eyes resting on Sam's again 'How about the meaning of life?'

Sam's laugh turned into a sigh as she tried to move but was unsuccessful

'I'm so tired all of the time and so weak, even once I had been in the sarcophagus Jai'ac had to support me or I fell down like a card castle,'

'Well I'm no doctor but I'd guess it's the baby, you have been through a lot so your bound to be tired, add that to looking after a growing child and you're probably gonna be left as a hand puppet for a couple of days,' Jack's focus left Sam as Daniel entered the infirmary

'I hate to tear you guys away from each other but General Hammond is coming, Janet is stalling but you might not want to look like Sam is about to have your baby when he enters the room,'

'Whoa!' Sam looked back to a now vacant space next to her and laughed as she realized Jack had fallen off of the bed

'General Hammond,' Daniel signaled the arrival of the only one not in on the secret

'Shoelaces all tied!' Much to the General's surprise Jack appeared next to Sam 'Oh, sir hi! How's it going?'

'Good thank you Colonel…' Sam and Daniel had to suppress a smile at Hammond's alarmed expression 'And Major, how are you?'

'I'm…' Sam cast a look towards Jack 'better sir, thanks. Still feeling a bit weak,'

'Okay, well I hope you make a speedy recovery,' Hammond cast a suspicious look to each occupant of the room before taking his leave, once satisfied General Hammond was far from the infirmary, Sam, Jack and Daniel burst out laughing, Sam feeling better than she had in months, she was home, safe and loved, Nirrti was locked up in a Tok'ra cell and despite nerves at being the mother of the next big thing to happen in the universe she was glad she had only hit the halfway marker of the pregnancy, there was still at least 4 months to figure things out…wisely, she decided not to jinx herself by asking what could possibly go wrong…


	17. Maternal Instinct

**Author's Notes**

**-I apologize for the criminal amount of time that has passed since the update of the last chapter – I got grounded from the computer for 3 weeks. I hope this has not depleted your faith in my writing or your liking for this story (if you do like the writing / story)**

**- Finally I have decided to reveal the sex of the baby, I was going to wait until it was born but I figured Sam and Jack were getting fed up of calling their child an "it" **

**- For those who are still with me here, I would like to request a vote: for my English coursework I am planning to enter either Addiction or a chapter of this story, If you review I would like to ask you (pretty please with a cherry on top) which chapter you think would be most suitable for coursework material? If you are interested I will tell you what one I use once I have decided…there again some of you out there might not want my life story in the author's notes, lol**

**- I also apologize for the lack of a preview with last chapter, I was hurried when updating it, this chapter will have a nice long (ish) preview as my sorry and I added something else down the bottom as well. **

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Chapter 17 – Maternal Instinct

'The gel might be a little cold,' the shiver that Sam felt as Janet applied the gel to her stomach was not only due to the chill of the gel, it was more to do with the fact she was about to see her baby for the first time, she realized that she was not only excited but she was also fretting for the wellbeing of her child, they had been enduring a cycle of seemingly endless torture for months, anything could have happened to the baby in that time, after all Nirrti had not needed it in good shape initially and a sarcophagus could have repaired any post-natal implications, Jack gently slipped his hand into Sam's, her grip tightened, his touch was reassuring.

It was strange to think back to when they had met, how their feelings had grown, On reflection in those times she had thought of her CO as a safe bet, she set her sights on the man she knew she loved but she also knew was unattainable, she didn't want to get hurt. Now she was taking her chances, it was like someone had pushed her onto a busy road where so many things could go wrong but it was worth what was on the other side. Her sapphires lay upon the smile she felt proud for summoning, it was a true smile, a smile that had not graced his handsome face for many years, it reached his eyes, it cleansed his spirit

'Is it healthy?' Jack's finger twitched as he saw a little heart beat occur suddenly on the screen, this image was soon followed by that of a small human form

'From what I can see,' Janet looked from face to face and then to the hands that were linked in beautiful hope, this scene was favorable to many she had witnessed and played part in, these two characters, her friends had been in situations when she didn't think they would make it through, she had seen them dying…now she saw them smiling, happy and finally together 'she is very healthy, I wouldn't recommend a sarcophagus for continual use obviously but anything she suffered while you were in Nirrti's presence and anything that was wrong with her initially will have been cured,'

'She?' tears came to Sam's eyes as her baby took one more step to becoming a person in mind and body; it was a she, their little girl, Jack crouched beside her to whisper in her ear

'You gave us a baby girl Sam… Thank you,'

Janet busied herself printing the ultrasound while the couple shared a sweet moment, as if testing them once more fate intervened to wipe the smile from Janet's face

'Sam,' she spun around to address her friend, clutching the ultrasound and focusing on the more distinct features of the human form 'How far along did you say you were?'

There was a pause while memories flashed through Sam's mind and she counted each month on her fingers

'Nearly 5 months now I think...' Sam recounted as Janet realized there was more news she would have to break to her colleagues

'Well, err; you know Nirrti is always jumping the queue to take her turn on the genetic manipulation devices…' Jack and Sam's faces dropped faster than a stone on Jupiter 'Looking at the current development of the baby it appears that she has somehow accelerated the pregnancy,'

'She did what!' Jack's temper flared, for Janet the saying "don't shoot the messenger" jumped to mind. Sam avoided an argument by pressing on with the conversation

'When am I due then?' her face fell to her hands, not quite sure she actually wanted to know the answer

'At this rate of growth and if she isn't premature or overdue I say in about…a month, month and a half maybe,'

'I should have shot her when I had the chance,' Jack mumbled starting to pace at Sam's bedside, Sam had to prevent herself from hyperventilating before responding to Janet's estimate

'So I am going to start showing a lot more soon?' One of many big decisions was looming depending on the answer to this question

'Well with some women they hardly show during pregnancy, which might be the case for you, but since your abdomen has already swelled slightly I'm guessing your pregnancy will start getting noticeable very soon,'

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Janet requested Sam stay in the Infirmary overnight for observation, due to the most recent shock she had agreed. She and Jack had talked for a long while before she insisted he get some sleep, it had been quite a battle but Jack had reluctantly left saying he would get Daniel to come and watch her while he grabbed probably much fewer than forty winks. One hand rested on her stomach – an action that was quite a comfort to her now – as she drifted into unsettled kind of sleep.

Images swam about her awareness, none of them forming completely into dreams of any kind until a disturbing scene began to play out in her mind

'_It's okay Sam just breathe,' Janet practiced breathing exercises which she prompted Sam to echo 'Now push!'_

_Pain made Sam cry out as she felt something slither from her and Nirrti appeared at the foot of her bed, she instantly panicked_

'_Janet!' She cried, reaching out for the help of her friend, Nirrti's presence did not gain Sam's expected reaction though and her horror was heightened as Nirrti reached forward and lifted a squealing symbiote from between her legs_

'_Jack! Help me!' Sam begged as Jack also made an appearance in the darkened room_

'_Oh look Sam,' He responded casually 'it has your eyes,'_

'_Jack please!' Sam was verging hysteria now as one more familiar face made his appearance 'Daniel! Daniel you have to help me, this isn't right! It's wrong, all wrong! I want my baby! I want my daughter!' a panic attack was starting to overwhelm her as she screamed out for normalcy, for escape, the response from Daniel sent her anxiety and terror spiking - his eyes flashed, he was a Goa'ould_

'_No, no, no,' tears streaked Sam's face as she was suffocating in what felt like such a small space now, familiar faces surrounded her but they did not smile with warmth, they mocked her, they laughed at her, poor helpless Sam, she could not save her baby and she could not save herself, Daniel snatched the symbiote from Nirrti and advanced towards her as the other occupants of the room began a chorus of her name_

'_Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam,'_

'Sam! Sam!' Sam's hand clenched on soft material as she woke to the sound of Daniel's voice, the experience was strange, a blur of sobs, flailing and tears, She grabbed at Daniel, pulling him towards her, he embraced her tightly

'It's okay Sam, It's okay, you're safe now,' he shushed her, rocking back and forth, she cried hugging him trying to forget about the nightmare, keep telling herself it wasn't real and never would be.

They sat for a long time, it had never occurred to her just how tall and strong Daniel was and overall how lucky she was, she was in a team with three other men who all cared about her, they looked after her, hugged her when she cried, did everything in their power to save her when others considered her lost. She felt close to Daniel like he was a brother, yet he was a total contrast to Mark, Mark had always kept to himself, even more so after their mom had died, she had always been alone after what had happened to mom, Mark was anti-social and her dad buried himself in work, now it was like Daniel was making up for that, he was there when her true family wasn't. Little Girl Sam was gone, the Sam that cried herself to sleep every night, the Sam who sat in the corner of her dark room illuminated only by a single lamp as she read through her books on quantum physics - that Sam was long behind her, now she was Soldier Sam, SG Sam, part of a complicated relationship Sam, She was about to be a mom and she wasn't going to make the mistakes her dad had made.

'Have you got a name for your little girl yet?' Daniel's whisper broke the silence, Sam pulled away to look upon a kind smile from her friend, this gaze was broken though as her focus fell to her stomach, she pulled her shirt up slightly to show how it had swollen from her usual slim figure

'It's strange,' she commented placing a hand at each side of her abdomen, framing her bellybutton 'I couldn't have imagined this ever happening, I found Jack irritating when I met him…but even as I began to like him…to love him, I knew that our military positions, the very nature of our job wouldn't allow for any kind of serious relationship. After all this has happened, the night when…all this started, it's just a blur. I don't know If I want to be with Jack, but our little girl means more to both of us than anything…maybe, maybe one day it can work out…it's just nice to know I'm not alone,'

'Sam,' Daniel pushed his glasses further up his nose 'You will never be alone, Jack is always by your side, every time you fall unconscious he is there when you wake, Janet will fight to keep you with us at all costs and…and it's not like me and Teal'c are gonna turn on you anytime soon.'

There were smiles before several moments of silent reflection which were shattered when Sam jumped suddenly

'What is it? Are you okay,' Sam pondered Daniel's fret for a moment before realization washed over her

'She kicked,' Sam's eyes lit up and before Daniel had a chance to ask she had snatched his hand and placed it softly on her stomach, Daniel was taken aback but the feeling soon receded as he also felt the soft vibration through flesh.

He could not deny it was nice to share a moment with Sam but he could also not help but feel out of place -

'I'll go get Jack,' Daniel resolved, standing and making his way to the door of the infirmary only casting a quick look behind him to see the little sister he never had with a smile that none but she deserved.

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**I just needed that brother/sister Sam and Daniel bit in there! The dream was a bit of random-ness that I thought of about a month ago…strangely it actually came to me in a dream (it wasn't actually my dream though, more about a dream of my planning a dream – if you get me) lol**

**Next Chapter: Jack has some tough calls to make but when it comes to the fight he refuses to back down. Sam is taken aback by the decision on his part that has always haunted both of them when thinking they could be together. Sam also has a challenge as she must face General Hammond…how will he respond when he finds out that not only did Sam and Jack break the regs but they have pulled off a secret pregnancy under his nose?**

**Baby Counter: Two and a half chapters until baby O'Neill/Carter makes her way into the world!**


	18. Sacrifices

**Author's Notes**

**-Firstly I would like to make a note of thanks to 7 League Boots who posted a review that made me smile! With the free Jaffa thing; I have to confess I wasn't being clever or original when I used it; it just seemed a good idea at the time! Shows that following your heart and mind in writing is the best way you can go!**

**-I would also like to remind everyone that I haven't mentioned that I will be making a large thanx to all my most regular reviewers and the ones who have put forward reviews that gave me a boost on a bad day or contributed to the story – I can imagine I will be typing for a while!**

**-If I can I would love to get some of your msn addresses, I am a constant presence on messenger and you all seem so nice! I have already found one brilliant Caroline O'Neill through I am longing to meet more of you!**

**-Finally I would like to mention a teaser for the sequel is at the bottom of the page for all who are interested. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 18: Sacrifices

'Okay, thanks Cam, I'll get back to you,' Jack placed the receiver back on it's hook as Sam entered his office, He promptly took his feet off of the memos piled on his desk and stood to greet her

'Are you sure you should be up?' he almost tripped over several piles of confidential files on his way to support the woman leaning on the doorframe, amusement lighting up her face as he crossed the mountains of paperwork and stationary to get to her

Not much of a hello,' she scowled 'I'm not an invalid you know,' when they finally did meet the real greeting came in the form of interlocking hands and gentle kisses

'We can't keep doing this,' Sam breathed as they drew apart, it was a muted statement but it was easily heard, one's gaze traveled barley inches to be caught by the other and their bodies remained close, almost as one

'Well I think the broom closet is actually quite roomy, even more so if I clear the paperwork…' Jack's joke was only replied by a serious stare 'actually, I agree… I've been thinking…' maybe out of discomfort at the news he had to disclose Jack stepped away and rather haphazardly returned to his desk

'That phone call was to a good friend of mine – he's called Cameron Mitchell…he was at the top of the list I wanted to suggest to General Hammond as my replacement.'

Sam was forced to clutch the doorframe as she became momentarily lightheaded

'Replacement?' She choked 'wh-why?' Jack hung his head as he responded dejectedly

'Sam, I need to leave…if I don't we could get court marshaled…If I retire I can look after our daughter when she is born while you remain at the SGC, It also means I am not your CO anymore and we can maybe pursue…whatever it is we have,'

'Jack, no, you can't, I should quit the air force, I'm the one that is pregnant, not you.' Sam begged for him to stay, he could not be swayed though; his retaliation came back in a harsh tone

'I was the one that couldn't control myself Sam! I was the one that persuaded you to keep the baby! I will not be responsible for forcing you into retirement before you get every single damn thing you deserve! You are a national treasure…It can't go down any other way,'

'I might be desired but I am not needed…I'm sure MacKay would jump to fill my shoes, you have the ancient gene though, you are the most advanced human on this planet and you have years more experience than I do,'

Jack did not hesitate to snap another quick comment

'And how many times have you been the biggest part in saving the world? A monkey could shoot out Jaffa! I barely know what a Naquada Generator looks like let alone how to work one, we already have Teal'c for the brawn-'

'We already have Daniel for the brains…' Sam suspected if another person was at the door at this point they could have easily have compared this argument to a tennis match, the comments bounced back and forth and just when you thought it was game, 40 love started a whole new round, head to head, crossed lovers battled for the win and despite all their affections one would have to take it. In this case the game went to Jack

'Sam, there is no argument. My resignation is already written and signed. There will be a new CO of SG-1 by the end of the week.'

Sam tried to snatch the resignation from his grip as he passed into his corridor on the march to Hammond's office, once again she fell in battle though and despite a furious "follow-the-leader" through the corridors, Jack soon stood with his hand on the door handle of Hammond's office with no intention of turning back

'Jack wait!' Sam charged towards him, the result being two decorated US Air force officers tumbling through the door of their COs office and landing in a crumpled heap on the floor – Jack once again having the common sense to soften Sam's fall

'Colonel, Major! May I ask what the hell you are doing on the floor of my office?' Hammond stood abruptly, his hand cupping the speaker of a bright red telephone receiver – they were in trouble now, there was only one man who could be on the other end of that call…

'Okay then Mr. President, I will address that right away,' the receiver turned to hook and for a while that sound merely echoed in Sam and Jack's minds, Hammond had turned from a pinkish color to magenta which might even have been amusing if this wasn't going to be a conversation that could change SG-1 and even the SGC as they knew it, moments more passed before General Hammond decided to speak

'I find it disgraceful that two of my most senior officers have the nerve to barge into my office while I am on the phone to the President…' there was another second of silence before he continued, a lighthearted edge appearing in his voice 'It was just fortunate that we were merely discussing golf plans…I don't have a love of the game myself but I am rather fond of my job… what can I do for you?'

Both Sam and Jack released a breath they did not realize they held, Jack took his turn immediately after this action, feeling what he had to say was best placed before Sam's announcement

'It is respectfully; General that I give you my two weeks notice…I am resigning from my position at the SGC,' Hammond did not reach forward for the resignation, even as it was placed on his desk he stared at Jack as if this was an April Fools joke

'Why?' He uttered, his knuckles kneading the desk, Jack noted these actions and took a second to decide how best to phrase his excuse

'I have family matters that need my full attention…my position here is…unsuitable for the new situation,' Jack was not lying, simply dancing around the truth

'Family matters?' Hammond's gaze still held the same degree of disbelief it had with the passing of his previous question, Jack's behavior became fidgety and uncomfortable, the truth was on the tip of his tongue…

'I'm pregnant sir…_we're_ pregnant,' Sam could swear she heard guns arming as the firing squad stood before her… there was no explosion though, no sharp pain, just…silence. The resignation General Hammond had just picked up fluttered gracefully to the floor and the knuckles spread into palms to use the desk in full support of his weight, in contrast with his previous reaction the color drained from his face in shock, but nothing near disbelief now.

'I knew it could be only a matter of time…' The General's weight was transferred from the groaning desk to his chair as he sank into it solemnly

'Excuse me sir?' Sam was taken aback by the comment, which if taken the wrong way could indicate the General had expected her to get "knocked up"

'I am not a naïve man Major Carter, nor am I an unloved one. I know when there is potential for something more…You know that I am supposed to make sure you are court marshaled?'

'Yes Sir,' The glimmer of hope extinguished in Jack's eyes as he stepped forward, ready for whatever speech Hammond was going to give concerning the regs, Sam still stood back, she could see the mind of a great man working…

'But I won't…' Smiles lifted the atmosphere in the room sky high, their lives may not be a fairytale but at least Sam and Jack would be given a shot at a happy ending 'If you are going to retire Jack-'

'Again,' Jack added, every comment could help the decision to be set in stone

'If you are to retire,' Hammond pushed on with a twitch from the corner of his mouth 'then the regs no longer apply to you and can not force you and Major Carter apart, as there has been a decision made to end one career for the sake of the other, I feel no need to end a great path that seems destined to continue,'

Sam threw her arms around Jack, thankful for a weight lifted off of her shoulders and the confirmation that her career would not be meeting an undignified end, there were a few moments of celebration in which Hammond could not help but laugh and another kiss proved their partnership. Once this had passed Sam asked to be excused, most likely so she could rush to tell Daniel and Teal'c the news and Jack also turned to leave

'I take it you had help with this little covert operation?' the General asked, clearly desiring details to how they had pulled it off, Jack saw no reason why he could not know

'Frasier has been looking after Sam and our unborn daughter,' Jack's smile was returned as he paused to see Hammond's reaction to the confirmed sex of the baby 'Sam told Jacob when we were off world and Daniel and Teal'c found out after Nirrti had captured her, there were very few people who knew sir'

'George.' he corrected. It would be nice to get on more friendly terms with Jack, terms in which he wasn't Jack's superior 'Well I hope all goes well for you Jack, no one deserves this more than you do,'

'People keep saying that…' Jack replied dubiously, he just considered himself lucky; Samantha Carter was far more than he had ever thought he deserved 'Anyway, if you don't mind…George…I have a couple of bits of paperwork piled up in my office that I probably need to get down to.'

Hammond smiled; he had always loved Jack's humor, even when inappropriate

'Of course.' He gestured for Jack to leave before grabbing his attention for a second longer 'Oh and Jack…God Speed.'

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**- I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself! I love the whole Hammond / God Speed thing! Probably a bit cliché as far as endings go! **

**- You have no idea how excited I am! I have only 3 chapters until I have completed the only decent story I have…well ever actually completed! Not only that but I have had massive support! Over 80 reviews now I believe, I have picked up some amazing friends on the way and believe it or not learnt a few things about myself as a writer and a person – thanx to all those reviewers who have got me here!**

**Next Chapter: Sam is taken off of active duty and worries for Jack when he is offworld. The pregnancy starts to really take its toll physically and emotionally and she has to get to grips with the fact she is only a thread away from being a mom. Sam, Jack, Daniel and Teal'c gather in the briefing room to meet the new CO of SG1…**

**Baby Counter: Only 1 and a half chapters until baby** **O'Neill/Carter makes her way into the world!**

**-------------------------------------------**

**TEASER FOR CONVICTON (warning! These are spoilers for the next story, if you wanna keep it a surprise, don't scroll down!)**

**This isn't an extract, these are lines I will most probably be using in the chapters, give you the general gist of what I'm throwing at you next!**

"Like a wisp of smoke she was there no more, she had been drawn to the soft lullaby but now, not unlike her daughter she wished for sleep to overwhelm her…"

"I'm what Jack? A good mom? Don't you say that because we both know it isn't true! She doesn't need me! Who's the one that sings her to sleep each night? The one who feeds her, changes her? Not me! I'm not a mom, I'm not even a soldier anymore, I'm nothing!"

"General, I think we should give her a chance, if not for who she is, than for what she can be!"

"I couldn't tell you Jack, I'm not the one with the love of my life at my finger tips, I'm not the one with a ring…"

"Do you reckon I should add to my report that it only takes a glass and a half of cheap champagne to leave an azguard hammered?"

"Ba'al knows, he knows about her, what she is and what she can do…it will only be a matter of time before he decides to act on this information…"

"Don't you dare! Don't you dare die on me now dammit! You are stronger than that!"

"I hate you Jack! I HATE YOU! You can die for all I care! I think it is time you face the fact that I could never love a man who killed his own child!"

"I am Ba'al, leader of the Goa'ould system lords, back down and worship your GOD!"

"We are the Ori, come to purge the galaxy of all those poisoned by evil, bow down and allow origin to lead you to your true path or you shall burn in the fires of celestus as a poser and as the defeated…"

**There you go! It was a bit like a promo reel but with no pictures! (I have to warn you that these quotes may change when put in the actual story, also I want to clarify that the baby is totally fine through the whole of the next story but I will slip that she is rather extraordinary!)**

**I will be putting the next chapter up very soon!**

**Sesa**

**xxx**


	19. Twilight

**Authors Notes**

**- I want to warn you this is not a good chapter; it's very random and not amazingly written, Im just putting a couple more layers into the story**

**- I kinda wrote this in two parts, the first bit was written a couple of days ago, the last bit written this morning coz I was off ill from school, when I am ill it is difficult to write endings to things, as you will notice it just seems to cut off**

**- I watched Reckoning prt 2 yesterday and today, why does Daniel have to die? I always sob my heart out! Speaking of that, a certain friend of mine wasn't too happy with a particular chapter I have lined up for conviction…God I feel evil!**

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Chapter 19: Twilight

Isn't it obscure that when you close your eyes and you wish hard, like you did as a child on a shooting star, your imagination takes you wherever you want to go? Sam could feel sand between her toes as she ambled along a moonlit beach, sweet serenity washing over her as smoothly as the waves bathed the shore. One heartbeat and she could feel dappled sunlight warm her skin and sense Jack's fingers lock with hers as they strolled through light foliage of a beautiful secluded forest. It was strange that she was sat outside Jack's cabin, the evening wildlife creating a dull chatter in her ear, her eyes tightly closed yet she could feel him with her, remember the moment of blissful ignorance that spawned the daughter she carried. Finally allowing her eyes to open she looked to the sky…he was millions of miles away, she knew he was not due back for days and yet she so desperately craved his touch, his kiss, another moment in her lifetime that she would always remember, she wanted them to make love under the stars with not a regret in the world…

Maybe she was just hormonal, broody, horny, however you wished to put it, but now more than ever, while she felt slow, tired and weak, when every time she slept the face of Nirrti enjoying each cruel blow would haunt her, she had become scared of being isolated, months back the world could have fallen around her lab and she would not have noticed, now she was jumpy, nervous and so damn emotional!

That was why, when Jack recommended a short break here to allow Sam time to relax her request to bring Janet with her had been accepted, Cassie had also accompanied them of course and had, furthermore been fascinated by her pregnancy. She had answered many questions from the curious girl since their arrival and each time a reference to her and Jack had been mentioned, it had gained a somewhat naïve "awww"

Truth is, the situation was so much more complicated than a single word or sound, Sam still did not hold total faith that her and Jack's relationship could last, if what they had was even a relationship…"see, it was comments like that," she told herself "that proved the situation was more of a mess than a romance"

'All he had in the fridge was beer so I grabbed one for me and got a glass of water for you,' Janet took a seat next to her, passing the glass of water to Sam and commencing to crack into her beer with a satisfying pop

'Typical Jack,' Sam tittered, remembering the secret ingredient to his omelet and cringing at the thought of what it must taste like 'along with some kind of few days old take away, beer is probably all he has in his fridge at home as well,'

'I would have thought he would prefer to eat some decent food out of work, the stuff in the commissary isn't particularly appetizing,' Janet looked out on the lake in fascination, bats hovered over it catching nocturnal insects attracted to the moonlight reflected off the surface of the water

'Is Cassie in bed?' Sam wished to change the subject, talk of beer only increased her longing for Jack, he was her alcohol, her drug.

'Yes, it's been a busy day, she would have passed out if she hadn't hit the sack,' there was a note of amusement in Janet's voice which vanished as she became thoughtful 'I was pregnant once…It was good, all good, the pregnancy went fine…until the last minute…'

Janet's sudden confession caught Sam off guard and she fell from a kind of limbo back to earth with a bump

'Hailey Melissa Frasier…she was still born…I've never told Cassie, I think it might break her heart." The story stimulated a deep pregnant woman's fear and tears quickly rushed to Sam's eyes, if Janet meant to scare her, she was succeeding 'It was hard for a while…A long while, burying a little white coffin, signing divorce papers, drilling myself into the ground at work…Things were looking up when I came to the SGC though, I can really help people now, make sure my experiences don't repeat onto another…I know you have been through some harsh stuff Sam, it's why I can promise this will work; you Jack and your daughter…It's gonna be hard…but it will work,' Janet's stare became vacant and she swigged half the bottle of Guinness down in one go, Sam was left rather stunned and seemed to be incapable of anything more than mumbling pathetic "I'm so sorries" caught in a sensitive moment she swayed to something which had been nagging at her for many hours now

'What if he doesn't come back?' she looked at Janet who still did not return the gaze, it was now the moon that fascinated her 'What if all I get is a box and a plaque labeled "Colonel Jonathon O'Neill, US Air-Force, date of birth to date of death?"

"I could not give you an answer to that Sam; your jobs come with risks, but I don't think you should doubt for a second that Jack would do anything less than take down every system lord in the galaxy to return to you,' when her gaze finally did fall it held sincerity more than Sam had ever seen in the woman's eyes, she knew undeniably what she was talking about and that no matter how much love liked to see you bleed, the high ride was worth it, it gave Sam faith that there was so much more than what she could see and how far her imagination stretched

'But what if he is dead already?' Janet smiled, Sam had always loved to question everything from choice of cereal at breakfast to the meaning of life, often she did not get an answer but this is one occasion she would

'You would know…even if he was billions of miles away, the moment his heart stopped, yours would to; miss a beat, loose a second…you would know'

There were many minutes of silent reflection, only tainted by the sounds of wildlife and the rarity of a car passing

'I think when the time comes you should tell Cassie what you told me, I think she needs to know you had another daughter…when it does come out make sure she knows she means the world to you though…I am sure she could offer much more support than I could ever give you,' Sam's words of wisdom broke the silence. In the time preceding this comment she had been thinking hard about what this experience had taught her about herself and everyone around her, she had probably learned more in 6 months than she had in many years, both Jack and Janet's stories of loss had been divulged to her, she had made new friends, encountered old enemies and most of all, for the first time she knew what true love was and what it meant, just looking down at her large belly proved there was more to come, that the journey wasn't over, she knew something was coming, but could anything really prepare her for what was going to hit her next?

---------------------------------

'It's SG-1 sir,' Walter confirmed. Sam and General Hammond stood in the gate room, anxiously awaiting the results of the mission, Sam was probably the most shaken as what came through that Stargate could refute or verify her fears and even after that had passed there was another change she would have to face waiting in the briefing room.

Both of the senior personnel heaved a sigh as Jack, Daniel and Teal'c casually strolled through the event horizon and stopped for a brief conversation on the ramp as the gate shut down, Sam smiled and made her way to the gate room to reacquaint Jack with the comforts of home, there was a hug offered and graciously accepted by Daniel and Teal'c then a smile and a short kiss for Jack. Sam's pregnancy being less than inconspicuous and Jack's plans of retirement spreading through the base like wildfire made it pointless to hide their relationship, this had turned out not to be a bad thing; Reynolds had offered his congratulations to the couple in the commissary, Dixon obviously cracked a joke to Jack in passing at every opportunity, Walter and Siler had each taken their turns to say they had always had faith that Sam and Jack would get together in the end and most just smiled and sighed "Finally"

'I trust you are all reacquainted?' The airmen that lined the back wall of the gate room ordered themselves as General Hammond made his presence known 'if so there is someone waiting in the briefing room for you,'

'Of course!' Jack offered his hand to Sam and they led the march of SG1 to meet their new CO

'Hi, I'm Cam Mitchell,' The Colonel shook hands with each member of SG1, a particular smile reaching out to Sam before they all took their seats at the briefing table. Many looks were exchanged and the little conversation that bounced between Jack, Cam and occasionally Sam was the only noise that could be heard in the room until General Hammond arrived

'Okay then SG-1, it seems we have things to discuss…'

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**- Okay, please don't shoot me; I know that was a pretty bad chapter, more foundations! Just when you think the house is nearly built hey? **

**- I used the name Hailey for Janet's lost daughter because it means "hero" which is fitting for a couple of reasons… there are other reasons for using the name that will come apparent to you soon, it is not what I plan to call Sam and Jack's baby though, my idea for the name is a bit more cheesy :os **

**Next Chapter: "Oh God, not now" (ha! I'm a tight ass with this synopsis!)**

**Warning: I can not promise anything for the next chapter, it will be with no doubt the hardest thing I have ever written, for this reason I can not promise for a really quick update, your gonna have to give me a few days, I promise not to take weeks though. **

**Anyone who can tell me anything about childbirth please spill the beans! My mom is in no way helpful because she just makes a joke out of it, probably just the momsy thing to do, Im only 15, she doesn't want me ending up pregnant! I have a certain person who has been a great help on the matter but I need any info anyone can give me, I want to make this as accurate and original as possible. **

**Baby Counter: Only half a chapter until baby O'Neill/Carter makes her way into the world!**


	20. Not Now

**Authors Notes**

**-I want to say thanx to DragonReader for a long pm about the ins and outs of childbirth, I did actually know many of the terms because I have been researching a lot about it recently, knowing about your experiences was useful though**

**- I understand that labor usually lasts longer than I have portrayed it here but there are some people lucky enough to have a baby within short amounts of time!**

**-Please forgive me for anything I have wrong in here, despite different sources of information I still have no idea what exactly I'm doing!**

**-I now have a list of people I will be thanking on the final chapter; I also have a request for any vidders out there who would be willing to do a storyvid… **

**-I'm an idiot - I watch reckoning – Daniel dies, I watch Threads – Jacob dies and tomorrow I am going round a friends house to see Meridian where Daniel dies again! I will have spent most of my weekend crying!**

**Anyway, enjoy and rmember I gave it my best shot!**

**---------------------------------------**

Chapter 20: Not Now

Sam's reflection stared at her in an almost questioning way as she stood before the mirror in her room, she was dressed in tank top, combats and boots, her dog tags were cold against her skin, she could feel them but they were not visible. She picked up the brush once more to neaten her hair, an action she had been repeating obsessively over the last 10 minutes, once the brush returned to its spot on the dresser she pulled the dog tags from under her top and the tags collided creating the jingle of metal on metal as they stopped suddenly at her chest. She so desperately wanted to look normal; she wanted to be soldier Sam with a P90 in her hands running through a forest packed with Jaffa, adrenalin making her heart thunder against her chest, instead she was simple Sam with a baby in her belly, brush in her hand, about to give a tour of the base to her new CO. Once more she regarded herself in the mirror before turning sideways; the black tank top did not make her appear any slimmer, she was undeniably huge, and not only did she look large but she felt the same way, her ankles were sore, her back ached and her overwhelming desire to eat and sleep made her feel like marching up to Mitchell and telling him to go to hell, he could find someone else to give him a tour of Cheyenne Mountain.

As her anger suddenly flared a spasm from her abdomen caught her off guard, she gasped and her hand flew to where the pain had now dissipated. She had been experiencing these pains on occasions over the past couple of days, she had been to see Janet about them but Janet was sure she wasn't going to go into labor anytime soon. Once assured of this she had been continuing with her duties on the base, trying her best to ignore these sudden cramps.

After Jack's return from his previous assignment, the pair had spent a pleasant couple of days together, Sam had planned to work late on Jack's first evening back on a device that SG-10 had recovered, it seemed to be of ancient design and she had planned to delve in the mysteries of the mechanism for at least a few hours before perhaps grabbing some sleep, instead her plans were crushed as Jack literally dragged her away from her lab to have dinner with him, as it turned out the night out was much better than the night she had had planned and after the meal Jack had invited Sam to stay at his house, she was dubious at first but the power of persuasion granted Sam a nice night curled in Jack's arms on his couch, the following night Jack had organized a night out under the stars and the final night before he was due to go off world again they had lain in his bed, kissing and whispering sweet nothings before falling softly to sleep. Jack had so far been off world for a day, as it was only recon he was due back tomorrow at 0900, only 24 more hours she would have to wait. Before he left, he had kissed both Sam and her belly while Daniel and Teal'c stood behind him smirking at how passé the scene clearly looked, even Sam suspected Jack was becoming a bit…"mushy" overall this did not seem a bad thing though and she had accepted the valediction with a gracious smile.

Now she ambled down the corridors to meet Mitchell at the elevator, she was stood waiting for only 5 minutes before the doors slid open and Mitchell came into view reading through a classified report

'Sir,' Sam greeted, alerting him to her presence

'Morning Major' he gave her a smile as she walked to accompany him and the elevator doors closed 'How are you and your…daughter?'

'We're fine thank you sir,' aiming a weak smile at no one in particular she slid her arms around her swollen belly, it was making her extremely self-conscious 'and you?'

'I'm very good thank you… so where are we heading to?' it was clear that neither felt entirely comfortable in the company of the other, there were a few moments of shifty behavior; looking around the elevator, twiddling thumbs and adjusting posture before Sam began an explaining today's agenda

'Well-' she was cut off as a yell replaced her words, the pain was like a sharp period cramp again but the intensity had heightened

'Are you okay Carter?' Mitchell had a hint of fear in his voice as the realization of what could be happening dawned on him, Sam made no response, instead she backed into the wall of the elevator and slid to the floor as another spasm came and went 'Oh my God, you've got to be kidding me!'

'No, sir, I'm okay, Janet said this kind of thing happens, it doesn't mean anything,' She stood again, slowly and shakily, Mitchell stepped forward to assist her but she pushed him back

'It doesn't mean anything Mitchell!' she clenched her teeth as more pain made her shake, Mitchell's gaze had fallen from Sam's face to the patch of liquid that was slowly expanding at the crotch of her combats

'That does,' he commented, pointing out the fact Sam's water had just broken 'Carter, we have to get Dr Frasier,'

'Oh God!' Sam's legs buckled and she fell to the floor of the elevator again, the contractions were getting increasingly painful and closer together, wasn't this supposed to take hours? It was rolling out in minutes! 'You need to get me to the infirmary!'

'I don't know where the infirmary is!' Mitchell panicked and prayed that he would not be the one that had to deliver the baby, looking up at the floor numbers which were steadily increasing he recalled the infirmary was on one of the lower levels 'I know where the briefing room is though, and that's closer,'

'The briefing room!' Sam cried incredulously

'Well it will be empty; Hammond and the other SG teams that aren't off world are having a briefing at the Whitehouse,' The elevator came to a halt and as the doors slid open Mitchell hauled Sam to her feet and they made their way to the gate operations room

'Walter! Dial P76-890! Tell Colonel O'Neill he needs to get back here fast, Carter has gone into labor…get someone else to get Dr Frasier to the briefing room as well! Now!'

Sam, being supported by Mitchell fell up the stairs to the briefing room, as another contraction left Sam unable to do anything but cry out, Mitchell was forced to pull her towards the opposite wall and set her down beneath the window which looked down on the Stargate. Sam could hear Walter's voice pronounce each chevron encoded and the seventh locked before the kawoosh roared and the light from the wormhole tinted Mitchell blue

'Carter, You're gonna have to take your pants off,' Sam wasn't the only one surprised as the statement slipped from Mitchell's mouth

'What! In front of you? No!' Sam folded her arms, adamant that she wasn't going to start stripping in front of her new CO

'Look,' Mitchell heaved a sigh as he cast around. His eyes finally settled on the flag of the SGC outside Hammond's office, rushing over to it, he whipped it off of the pole and threw it to Sam 'Cover yourself up and I'll close my eyes,'

Sam begrudgingly covered her legs with the flag and pulled off her wet combats and underwear, meanwhile Mitchell wandered around with his eyes closed and ended up sprawled over the briefing table

'You done?' he wheezed, returning to a more dignified standing position, another contraction answered for him and he opened his eyes to see the gate shut down and then start to redial, obviously from O'Neill's end this time. 'Okay, err…Breathe?'

Sam rolled her eyes as she commenced with breathing exercises

Mitchell echoed the breathing like he was the one leading the exercising; Sam would have laughed if she hadn't been in so much pain.

'Colonel O'Neill is coming through the gate now and he's running…'

'Thank you Mitchell, you've been so much help,' the sarcasm in her words slapped him around the face

'Sam!' Jack and Janet said her name in unison as they charged up the stairs, Janet carrying a bag of medical equipment and Jack taking off his mission gear, Mitchell backed away as Jack took place at Sam's side and Janet lifted the flag to see how dilated Sam was

'Seems I was wrong about the pains Sam, You've technically been in labor for the past couple of days…you've dilated quickly, I can see the baby's head,'

'It hurts,' Sam whined, every muscle in her body was tense, sweat and tears drenched her face, one contraction was not distinguishable from another, a dull and continual pain hammered at her body and she wished it would stop, God, she wished the world it would stop. Jack did not know what to say, all he felt he could do was offer his hand, Sam gasped it and made him regret his decision as his fingers were crushed

'Son of a Bitch, you did this to me!' She breathed; Jack was stuck between amusement and fear, she was not wrong.

'Sam, I need you to push for me, can you do that?' Janet looked up at her hysterical friend, she knew how hard it was and how Jack and Mitchell couldn't even begin to understand. Sam nodded and braced herself

'Okay, now,' Sam held her breath, tensed and pushed as hard as she could, she wasn't entirely aware what was happening, her mind screamed, her muscles burned and all she knew was she wanted this to be over

'Oh God, Oh God!' she sobbed, she tried to move but Jack held her down, she wanted to hit something but all she could do was scream and cry, if only Mitchell was closer…

'Sam you're going to have to push again,' Janet had a grip on the baby's head but Sam would have to strain her body one last time to enable her to pull the baby out safely

'I can't!' Jack could see how tired she was and how her body screamed for blissful unconsciousness, she could not give up yet though, not now, not after everything; 6 months of the pregnancy from hell and days of pains, it all came down to this moment, after this maybe it would all seem worth it, their daughter _would_ be worth it.

'Look at me Sam,' Jack placed his hand on her cheek and guided her gaze towards him 'You can do this! I know you can! I have every faith in you!' There were several moments of sincere stares before Sam placed her hand on his cheek

'You better be right,' she brought Jack forward and kissed him softly on the forehead

'Okay Sam we need to do this now,' Janet was all for sweet moments but it was not healthy for the baby to be in this mid-state for long, she received another nod from Sam as her hand returned to support her weight

'I can do this, I can do this,' once again she gathered a breath and once again her muscles tensed

'1, 2, 3,' Sam used every bit of strength she had left and pushed, Jack held her hand and tight as she held his, Mitchell stood with his mouth half open and Janet eased the baby girl into the world.

Little lungs started to work and a wail filled the briefing room, Sam slumped against the wall, all pain diminishing and exhaustion talking its place

'Holy…' Mitchell pulled out a chair and fell into it but he was barely noticed, Janet had cut the baby's cord, checked heart rate, lungs and bundled Sam and Jack's tiny daughter in a towel she had procured from the medical bag

'Congratulations, you have a healthy baby girl,' Janet handed the little human to Jack thinking with absolute certainty that this was the highlight of all her time at the SGC, she had helped bring life into the world whereas usually she saved people from going out of it.

'Oh, she's beautiful, and so tiny.' tears still rolled down Sam's cheeks but they were for happiness now, not for pain

'She is,' Jack smiled, just as overcome with emotion as Sam, and just to think, he had almost missed it! Sam reached forward and touched her daughter's cheek, her skin was soft and pink, the cries had ceased and she looked up at her parents with big blue eyes, tiny mats of mousey brown hair covered her head and her little hand grasped for Sam's finger, she would not be aware of her birth or her first few moments for life but Sam and Jack made a silent vow to tell her one day, they were sure she would listen, it was as interesting as any trip through the Stargate.

The souls of two lovers were bound by another new life, half and half, she was theirs…

'You know,' Mitchell commented from his slouched position on one of the briefing room chairs 'I don't think Hammond's going to be very happy about the carpet…'

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**Bloody Hell I did it! I wrote the chapter! I couldn't even begin to say whether it is decent or not but I did it all the same! That was the first labor and birth I have ever written!**

**Right, One last chapter and I am done…for this fic! I will be back! I will probably post last chappie of this and 1st chappie of Conviction same day so watch out for it! I can't promise the best of summaries…**

**I want to make an odd request and ask – could I please get up to 100 reviews! Please don't leave me on 99 or anything! Over 100 is fine of course… XD**

**Next Chapter: Baby Days, There is a baby shower for soon to be named baby Carter/O'Neill, Jack contemplates a big question…**


	21. Baby Days

**Authors Notes**

**- Ok-ay, we find ourselves at the final chapter…I am shaking at the thought of how much I could have screwed this chapter up! Knowing me and the fact this is the most important chapter in the whole fic, I probably have! I just want to plead that you have more mercy than the Ori and don't burn me! lol**

**- The reason this has taken so long to update was because it has taken me a while to write this chapter and I wanted to stick up chapter 1 of Conviction at the same time as this one so I had more to write this time around.**

**- Also, I am having breakdown over here!! My math coursework has nearly driven me insane!! My art teacher is pressuring me to come after school to finish the coursework for that subject and ICT is doing the same!! The only subject I am enjoying right now is History and that's because I don't follow the lesson plan that well – I just read any textbook that is stuck infront of me, I'm doing American History at the moment and it is fascinating and really quite moving, its one of those things that make you really want to be a good person. It's what I aspire to!**

**-I think I told you back a couple of chapters that I would tell you what chapter I would use for my English coursework…Well, I decided to use chapter 18 because it has the least violence, swearing and Goa'ould references in it! I gave it to my English teacher last Friday and I should get it back at the end of the week with her notes on it.**

**-On a totally random note, my English teacher's daughter has the same name as Amanda Tapping's daughter – Olivia.**

**-I'll stop boring you will my life now and let you get on with this chapter. (If I talk too much just tell me to shut up!)**

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Chapter 21: Baby Days

Daniel cast around the room as he stepped into Jack's house, there was a crowd gathered in the living area beside a large pile of presents, there had not been time before their new acquaintance had arrived but now, to keep to even the small shred of normalcy their lives held, Sam had convinced Jack to hold a late baby shower, it would be here that Jack and Sam's closest friends would finally find out the name of their beautiful daughter. Wandering in to greet the others, he was the one greeted first; Jack who had closed the door after him returned to mingle with the crowd as Daniel was approached by a familiar face

'Tec-ma-tai Daniel Jackson!' his arm collided with that of a Jaffa who's name was just on the tip of his tongue…

'Tec-ma-tai Jai'ac,' Daniel grinned, partly in greeting, partly due to the fact he had been able to pin a name to the face of the man that smiled before him

'Jai'ac came with me through the chappa eye to witness this…baby shower,' Bre'tac stepped into the conversation to explain his friend's presence at the celebration

'Daniel!' Sam came over, just having spotted him; she carried with her a bundle, presumably containing her daughter. Noticing Daniel's attention turn elsewhere Jai'ac and Bre'tac struck up conversation with Mitchell who happened to be standing closest to them, clearly not a fan of the long stories of battle he knew Jaffa to describe, he threw Daniel a pleading look that was promptly ignored

'Hey!' The teddy bear Daniel had held at his side now became animated, his hands inspiring a little wave from a stuffed paw, Sam grinned and reached forward for a hug, both were careful not to squash the sleeping baby in the process

'You have a name yet?' Daniel asked, peering into the little pink face, he could already see a resemblance to her parents, Jack's nose for starters…

'Yes! Finally! You should have heard some of the names Jack was suggesting; Teresa, Illinois, Sabrina, Agnes…he might have been joking about that last one though,' she shrugged

'How about Danielle?' Daniel joked, Sam's response seemed torn between wanting to laugh and wanting to throttle him, clearly it had been a tough couple of days, for a start Hammond and the SG teams had walked into the briefing room about 10 minutes after the baby was born to find the strange family huddled outside the General's office - Sam with a particular lack of pants. As it turned out most of the men went just as red as she did and it was only thanks to Janet that the scene was quickly organized.

'Hey guys, havin' fun?' Jack approached his ex-team members to tell Sam that everyone was finally present, Sam nodded and as the couple took to the head of the room Daniel integrated himself with a few more familiar faces; General Hammond, Teal'c, Cassandra and Janet.

One more person became visible as he stood to address his friends in regard to the family that stood behind him

'Finally it seems everyone is here,' Jacob cleared his throat to start a short speech 'we all know the pain and the anguish that Sam and Jack have been through together, they have had some hard times, near to insanity and near to death, I have even accompanied them on some of these missions... Although as a former Air Force officer I would not endorse what Jack and Sam seem to have pulled off…as a father I couldn't be more proud…and for the record I would like to say – Finally!' There was a small buzz of laughter from the floor and a rather enthusiastic "hear, hear!" from Cassie 'I know I have not kept this principle in mind in many of my actions but I believe that Life is what you make it, for better or worse, I hope as they have already made life for the better they can live by this saying a lot better than I ever did.'

There was a small applause in which a smile and thanks was shared between Sam and Jacob and she, Jack and their daughter stole the spotlight

'Okay, I'm not one for speeches but here goes…' Jack placed his arm around Sam as he spoke 'I have three things I would like to announce today in front of all of you, our friends and family. Firstly, you have probably already heard that I am retiring, I felt that after 7 years of traveling to other planets…getting impaled and such, I deserve to settle down and look after our daughter while Sam continues on as a most valuable asset to the SGC…Secondly…I had a discussion with General Hammond about a few loose ends I would like to tie up before I leave for a life of diapers, screaming and teaching our little one the joys of "The Simpsons"' the crowd laughed in a "typical Jack" kind of way 'During this discussion we both agreed that I should be the one to inform Sam of her promotion to Lieutenant Colonel!' Sam looked taken aback for a moment before mouthing to Jack "really!?" Jack nodded and after a rather extended applause this time he was allowed to continue 'Finally, last but not least we would like to announce the name of our much loved daughter…we talked our way through many baby's names books and several internet sites before deciding on an attractive and suiting name…for all those who had their hopes up, it's not Jam,' Sam laughed before taking over;

'We would like to announce our daughter's name as…Amanda Hailey O'Neill,'

There was a massive ovation that Jack and Sam did not think the crowd had been capable of, they both knew though that this was an expression of so much more than the name of their daughter, this was an applause for all the times they had been so close but too scared to touch, this was an applause for each time they were there for each other but never kissed, this was an applause for the fact they had finally got their act together and not only created love but new life as well, caught in the moment, the couple kissed and drew away to smile at each other fondly and grin as their actions inspired a scream of delight from Cassie.

No one need ask the meaning of the name they had chosen, out of wedlock they had still chosen O'Neill for everything Jack had done for the family's safety, Janet knew they had chosen Hailey - "hero" because there was no name more fitting and deep in their hearts they knew the name beginning with an A would lead to more than they could imagine…but that's another story…

'Hush hush Amanda,' Sam's gentle voice soothed her little girl as she cried. She repeated these words several times but the child did not hush, seeing no other option she started a soft lullaby, at first with a raised voice then a muted one as the cries subdued

'Oh God Jack!' Sam had spun around to return to the house and two strong arms stopped her colliding with her…well not exactly boyfriend…

Instinctively her eyes fell to Amanda ensuring she was still settled, she was, but on seeing this Sam did not look up.

'You're a natural,' Jack smiled, his eyes also settling on the little form in the woman's arms, a pensive silence followed this, questions raced through Sam's mind

What now?

I don't know.

Can I be with Jack?

I don't know.

Can I raise a child on my own?

I don't know.

Do I love them?

More than anything…

Her thoughts were spoken as Jack sliced through the muted atmosphere

'What now?'

Her thoughts slipped from her own mouth as she replied

'I don't know…' more silence soon to be broken 'I never thought this far… there was you, there was us, there was shock, there was pain, there was belly…now there's baby… I can't even start to think what comes next…'

'Happiness? Joy? Family? An inch of normalcy...Love?' On the most part they both knew Jack's words were wishful thinking, they didn't happen with the flick of a switch, by pressing a button, by waking up one morning and going "okay, today my life is going to change" every syllable whispered "Time" and in their current situation Sam couldn't help but think 6 months had definitely not been enough for a fairytale ending.

'If only it were that simple.' When Sam turned to leave, Jack did not stop her. He watched her walk away and still waited, moments, seconds, he waited...and just as she was about to return to the buzzing atmosphere of the house she turned to look at him, right into the eyes, sapphire melted into soulful brown

'Thankyou…sir,' A smile turned the corner of her mouth as she employed the title that had not graced her lips for many months

'For what?' he asked, a cool expression hid a feeling of deep desire for her, he wanted to reach out and touch her skin, now he could only touch her with kind words as she walked away, he wanted to stop her but knew he shouldn't…give her time.

'For being there for me,' it was strange how so few words summed up so much, they did though, and that's all that mattered.

'Always,' Jack rested his case on the last word, one which he always had to have…now it was her choice.

Enough said between them, they both turned and parted, Sam returned to the house and Jack wandered casually, his hand slipping into his pocket. When it reappeared his fingers grasped a small blue box. There was a pause before Jack opened it to reveal a ring…it was expensive but that was not the point, the point was three jewels which reflected the bright summer sunshine – A white gold band clutched sapphire, diamond, sapphire; symbolic in so many ways. There was a question that he had pondered for the past few days, ever since he had found himself boldly walking into a jeweler that caught his eye to pick a ring he hadn't planned to get that morning. It was a feeling, it had taken his heart and hadn't let go, much like the love he felt for Samantha Carter.

One last glance and the box snapped shut, just like their story. Not today. For the moment they had to live in "The End". Live today and take tomorrow as it came.

Serendipity at it's best.

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**What can I say…? Wow! I did it, the whole thing! The whole fic!! On a brief look back I want to apologize if any of the characters were ooc, especially Jack, It was pointed out to me that I made him a bit mushy to begin with, I hope he became more strong and manly through the story!**

**Now I am going to go on the long and dragged out bit and say thankyou so much to ALL of my readers and reviewers, I managed to hit 100 reviews and it has given me a massive boost of confidence! I wouldn't be the writer I am now without all of your contributions. Minus a certain flame you kept me going and made me want to know what was happening as much as you! Yes, it sounds like I am some weirdo but reading back on my work it surprises me, some of the things I stuck in there and how exactly I pulled each chapter off. I have to also take note to the fact that I have made some amazing new friends through this fic, people who have contacted me through msn, e-mailed me or PMed me. I love you all!!**

**Special thanks to my regular reviewers: (this is going to take a while!)**

**-Natters: Short but sweet, thanx for the motivation **

**-Trinitystargazer3 - You were the first person to raise the comment about the eyes I see! Great reading, thanx for catching me out!!**

**-Katejones2005 – You have been a great motivational reader, your lovely reviews have kept me going, I felt you really involved yourself in the plot, you have no idea how happy and proud that makes me feel.**

**-Caroline O'Neill – obviously u are my amazing best buddy online, thanks for reading, even if you haven't quite caught up yet!**

**-Dragonland - Thankyou very much for pushing through even though you popped in when most of it was already written**

**-Dragonreader - Thanx for the PM about the ins and outs of childbirth, it was a big help! And thanx 4 joining my message board, it will be nice to chat to you more!**

**-Sokorra Lewis - You are an amazing reader! E-mailing me to review if wouldn't let u thru. Thanx for staying with me!**

**atlantis sg1 – thanx for reading and keeping with me. Hope we can chat sometime xx**

**7 League Boots – You were so nice to me!! After I got that flame you PMed me to tell me other wise, that got me back on track and feeling great. I hope you will follow me thru with the big picture of this idea**

**Swerels – I can't type ure sn properly! Lol! Thanks for your part in making this fic the way it is, Im grateful for every review!**

**Crazy Babiih – Looking back on my reviews I probably should have mentioned you earlier, thanks so much for the boosts you gave me and sorry for not acknowledging it before.**

**gater62 – Thanks for your reviews, its really nice to have your comments, hope you follow me through to Conviction!**

**Mak5258 – Your reviews are for the later chapters but they are appreciated just as much as everyone else's! lots of thanx xxx **

**I dearly hope everyone follows through to the sequel Conviction and I can count on your support and friendship on all the chapters to come! **

**Dedication: I would like to dedicate this fic to: **

**- My little sister – she is the most wonderful thing in my world! We are as close as anything, I will love her forever!**

**- My friend Jo – she is my bestest buddy and the first ever person to call me friend and mean it. **

**- My friend Caroline O'Neill she is an amazing person, has stuck by me through this fic and has shared many late night chats on msn with me!**

**Little Calling: I mentioned this earlier in the fic but I have a message board called Kawoosh Gate. It is a place for all fans of Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis to chat and meet other fans. It's pretty new, I have 10 members and I am looking for more. Anyone who is interested visit wwwdots9dotinvisionfreedotcomforward slashKawooshunder dashGate and join up!**

**Once again, thank you and my love and good wishes to all of you**

**Smiles**

**Sesa**

**xxx**


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